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Thou shall not use bible study classes as an excuse
When I was reading the Da Vinci Code, I needed to come up with an excuse to not attend a friend's 30th as the book as we all know is so gripping.
Believe me, I was looking forward to the party and wanted to go , heavens I was even dressed, after getting dressed I grabbed the book again and just could not put it down.
I had to come up with an excuse and as I was reading the book I decided to say that I had to attend an urgent bible study class which could not be re-scheduled or missed as I was to be sworn in as a god-mother on the Sunday – I justified it in my mind by telling myself that there are lots of references to the bible, in the book.
Lynette
Sometimes outrageous excuses will backfire
We have no electricity and can't have bath and get changed.
And lo and behold, my friends rock up at my home, with drinks and food, deciding if I couldn't go out, they would come to me and we'd enjoy dinner by candlelight!
Can you believe the look on their faces when they rocked up and I was in my old tracksuit, relaxing on the couch and reading – with all the lights on!
Veena
I can't "find" my car keys, therefore I can't go out
I share a town house with my daughter, and I had a good book I was reading. I knew I had plans, but didn't want to honour them by leaving my book, so I threw my house keys out the window, promptly phoned and told her that I couldn't find my keys anywhere and that I was locked inside the house.
I also said that she would have to come and get me if she still wanted to meet up with me – something which she didn't do. On her return home I said I must of dropped them between the car and House, as she was home when I returned home earlier.
She offered to help me look in my car and the garden, she of course found them, and was very apologetic for having been rude to me earlier in the day and proceeded to give me a stern lecture about being alert and knowing where my belongings are at all times, I still haven't told her the truth.
Cindy
Photoshop saved my life
Being the bookworm I am, the lies are endless and, at times, a rather complicated web of words in which I invariably become tangled! The most memorable though was this little gem…
I had been invited to attend a "pamper" dinner with some girlfriends. It sounded like something quite nice so I accepted (it's important to note that at the time I wasn't reading anything awe inspiring…).
About a week before the dinner, I was given a book – not just any book mind you, but the final installment in the Harry Potter series. Anyway, since I didn't want to speed read my way through it and risk missing any crucial threads, I decided to devote the upcoming weekend to the great Ms Rowling. Unfortunately, this clashed horribly with the dinner date I'd already accepted. What's a girl to do?!
Since most of my friends are aware that I attend belly dance classes and perform at the odd show, I concocted an event that just happened to take place on the same day (and time) as the dinner and, regrettably, I was under contract to perform.
Gosh, darn it – such a pity that I would have to miss the dinner… Sigh! So the weekend rolled around (finally) and I got lost in the pages of Hogwarts – so much so that I failed to notice a string of text messages on my mobile phone.
Suffice it to say that there actually was a small belly dance event (I swear I didn't know!) and was covered by the local press – photos, stories, the works! The text messages were all from my friends who had read about the event and wanted me to send them some photos… gulp!
Well, I did what any other deviant would do… I photoshopped myself into one or two pictures and sent them off!!!
Looking back I still giggle about that particular incident. However, I can honestly say that even that very close call did not deter me from telling the odd whopper afterwards in order to stay home and read .
Adélle
Invited to a party? Don't use an excuse, just take the book with you.
Being a bookie (kind of like a foodie, just wordier?) I've pretended to be sick to get out of social engagements. At times, when I know my friends will actually go to great lengths to make chicken soup and send flowers, I've resorted to wild claims about a work crises in order to cuddle a huge big...book on the couch and get out of making small talk. I pretend to be sick to read quite a bit, can you tell? They must think I'm terminal.
Actually, I've gone one step further...I am renowned for being the worst kind of party / dinner guest. When I'm in the midst of a particularly gripping book, I have been known to take that book to gatherings.
I'm quite indiscriminate about this kind of bad behaviour and don't really care if it's really good mates who will love me despite my rudeness or people I have just met. Point is, should there be a dull moment at a party, you'll find me in a corner quietly – and surreptitiously – turning the pages and living in a far more interesting world than my hosts' party.
Lately my invitations are accompanied by kind (if somewhat aggressive) requests for me to leave the book at home. That's ok though, all my friends seem to be readers too...and I usually find something to pick up and page through at their homes.
Jean
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What are some of the most shameful excuses you've used in order to stay home and read? Tell us in the comment box below.
