When it comes to wedding etiquette, there are certain things that are just a big no-no. Inviting your ex, bringing someone to a wedding when the invitation didn’t have a plus one tag, and pitching up to the ceremony and reception when you didn’t RSVP, are just among the few things that will have people thinking twice before inviting you to another event.
However, there is one big faux pas to end all faux pas and that is stealing the couple’s limelight on their big day by using their event to propose to your significant other.
Recently Buzzfeed featured a story where a couple who spent about $80 000 (R1 019 261.38) on their wedding were completely upstaged and blindsided by the groom’s best man. He, in his capacity as wedding officiant, decided to propose to his girlfriend and announce her pregnancy in the middle of the actual wedding ceremony.
Yes, you heard me.
Not even at the reception, but during the ceremony, WHILE THEY WERE BUSY EXCHANGING WEDDING VOWS.
And that’s not even the worst.
The best man who has since been dubbed “John” in an agony aunt letter originally featured on Slate.com, also used the opportunity at the reception to talk about his and “Jane’s” future during the wedding speech (with nary a mention of the newly wedded couple) AND, asked the band to play something special for them to dance to.
How deep do your levels of self-absorption and narcissism go if you think it’s totally fine to hijack someone else’s wedding and make it about you?
It’s certainly not the first time I’ve read about marriage proposals being done at other weddings, but in most of those that I’ve read, permission has been given from the bridal couple. Not only that, but in the majority of those stories that I’ve read about, the wedded couple themselves were involved in helping to plan the proposal.
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Personally, I wouldn’t want someone to use my big day as a platform to propose, even though the argument for it is that it gives everyone even more of a reason to celebrate, and here’s why:
1 – As a couple, you’ve worked hard to pay for everything that goes into your wedding. The money spent, the possible loans taken out and the effort you’ve gone into researching and deciding on vendors makes your wedding yours in every single way.
Anyone using, or thinking about using the grounds you hired and the band you paid for as a stage for their proposal, should rethink their romance strategy.
2 – Not everyone at the wedding you want to propose knows who you are. Chances are they will applaud politely and indifferently at best, and disparage you for trying to take centre stage at worst.
In the original letter, the bride mentions that it took her and her husband years to make a success out of their lives – so much so that being able to have a wedding at that cost made it all the more special.
Surely the level of entitlement exposed here speaks of someone who, in his effort to elevate his own status at the expense of someone else, is completely devoid of shame and is unable to simply be happy for his friend on a day that’s supposed to be about his friends’ happiness?
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For you to deprive a couple of years of hard work, and at a day that’s meant to be all about them is tantamount to telling someone to go and stuff themselves.
They only get the one day to celebrate their big day. You have more time (and surely more creativity than using someone else’s wedding to propose) than that to celebrate your engagement and girlfriend’s pregnancy.
Have you ever been witness to someone hijacking a wedding to propose? Tell us about the most shocking moments you’ve seen at a wedding.