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5 tips on how newlyweds can deal with the ‘so when are you having kids?’ question

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Couples should work as a team when navigating invasive questions from family.
Couples should work as a team when navigating invasive questions from family.
Photo: Getty Images

‘So when are you planning to have kids?’ Sounds familiar right?

There's a way to subtly and politely tell your family to mind their own business. Here's how: 

1. Know what you want

At the end of the day, both you and your partner need to feel ready for this next big step. Author of Complete without kids Dr Ellen Walker mentions on Psychology Today that you need to understand why as a couple you’ve chosen to bear children after a certain milestone or age. Once you get this out of the way no one, not even your family, can use this against you.

Once you agree on what it is that you want, it’s up to you whether you want to tell your friends and family. Putting it out there could help you put an end to this question.

2. Work as a team

Avoid being in a situation where one of you sides with your nosy family members. Get your story right so that when you’re asked you both have the same answer. Showing a united front will protect you and help you overcome this hurdle.

3. Be clear on the boundaries

Experts from Family Education state that as much as this is an uncomfortable position to be in, your family needs to know that anything regarding your reproductive system is none of their business. If your in-laws are pressuring you, your best bet is to allow your partner to talk to them about this.

4. Have a sense of humour

We know how some family member just can’t get the picture and the only thing left for you is laugh about it.  Don’t take their comments to heart as this could mess with you.

5. Surround yourself with similar couples

You’re not the only couple who’s going through this and some have been at it for a longer period than you have. These are the people to draw strength and courage from. They’ll give you tips that worked for them and it’s up to you to take them in or dismiss them.

 

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