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There's one thing to be said about celebrity train wreck marriages: Folks like Alex Rodriguez, Jennifer Lopez and Sandra Bullock can afford to make big fat divorce settlements, and move on.
That's not so true for most everyday people. But, staying together just because of money is probably not the best way to go either. The relationship continues to deteriorate, the kids suffer, and the finances don't improve enough to make a difference.
There are new specialists, however, including mediators, divorce financial planners and forensic accountants who can make the financial part of divorce easier.
Here's how to use them, and how to equitably split the cash after the relationship has been ripped asunder.
Get info
A clear picture of where each spouse stands is critical. Find out how much the house is really worth in today's market. Add up all of the credit card bills. If there's reason to believe a spouse may be concealing money, hire a certified public accountant who specialises in forensics – finding hidden money – to make sure that all of the assets remain on the table.
Get tax and financial advice
This isn't the same thing as legal advice. The way you structure maintenance, retirement transfers and home sales can make a huge difference in how much is left at the end of the day. Financial advisors who specialise in divorce know all about how to divide homes, plans and other assets so that taxes are reduced and more money stays with the couple.
Dump the house
Usually, the wife wants to keep the house, particularly if there are children involved. But in many cases she can't really afford to keep it up, and trades valuable assets such as retirement savings just to hold on to the property. If one spouse stays in the house but depends on the other to keep up mortgage payments, that can compromise the credit rating and financial health of both of them, and keep them tied together financially long after they'd each prefer to move on.
In today's tough real estate market, some couples are finding they have to negotiate short sales – selling the house at a price below what's owed on the mortgage and getting the bank to accept the lower payment as payment in full.
Talk about college
Children of divorce are less successful at completing college than children of intact marriages, and that's often because the parents split without coming to terms with who will pay those whopping tuition bills. The more specific the agreement on this, the better. Decide early on what percentage each spouse will pay, and also discuss amounts.
Consider kick-out clauses
Some spouses are reluctant to agree to pay maintenance because they worry that their job might disappear, so they write emergency clauses into their agreement that allow them to trim the maintenance if they suffer a financial setback.
That's fine, says Stacy Francis, a New York divorce financial analyst, as long as it goes both ways. What if the maintenance-paying spouse wins the lottery? In general, emergency clauses should be temporary.
Mediate
It's only the minority of divorces that go to court. More couples are realising that if they can negotiate the finances, the house and the custody themselves, they can save big bucks on lawyers. You'll still want a lawyer to look over the agreement.
Have you (or a friend) gone through a divorce amicably? What financial suggestions can you offer to help pave the way a little? Pop them in the box below.
That's not so true for most everyday people. But, staying together just because of money is probably not the best way to go either. The relationship continues to deteriorate, the kids suffer, and the finances don't improve enough to make a difference.
There are new specialists, however, including mediators, divorce financial planners and forensic accountants who can make the financial part of divorce easier.
Here's how to use them, and how to equitably split the cash after the relationship has been ripped asunder.
Get info
A clear picture of where each spouse stands is critical. Find out how much the house is really worth in today's market. Add up all of the credit card bills. If there's reason to believe a spouse may be concealing money, hire a certified public accountant who specialises in forensics – finding hidden money – to make sure that all of the assets remain on the table.
Get tax and financial advice
This isn't the same thing as legal advice. The way you structure maintenance, retirement transfers and home sales can make a huge difference in how much is left at the end of the day. Financial advisors who specialise in divorce know all about how to divide homes, plans and other assets so that taxes are reduced and more money stays with the couple.
Dump the house
Usually, the wife wants to keep the house, particularly if there are children involved. But in many cases she can't really afford to keep it up, and trades valuable assets such as retirement savings just to hold on to the property. If one spouse stays in the house but depends on the other to keep up mortgage payments, that can compromise the credit rating and financial health of both of them, and keep them tied together financially long after they'd each prefer to move on.
In today's tough real estate market, some couples are finding they have to negotiate short sales – selling the house at a price below what's owed on the mortgage and getting the bank to accept the lower payment as payment in full.
Talk about college
Children of divorce are less successful at completing college than children of intact marriages, and that's often because the parents split without coming to terms with who will pay those whopping tuition bills. The more specific the agreement on this, the better. Decide early on what percentage each spouse will pay, and also discuss amounts.
Consider kick-out clauses
Some spouses are reluctant to agree to pay maintenance because they worry that their job might disappear, so they write emergency clauses into their agreement that allow them to trim the maintenance if they suffer a financial setback.
That's fine, says Stacy Francis, a New York divorce financial analyst, as long as it goes both ways. What if the maintenance-paying spouse wins the lottery? In general, emergency clauses should be temporary.
Mediate
It's only the minority of divorces that go to court. More couples are realising that if they can negotiate the finances, the house and the custody themselves, they can save big bucks on lawyers. You'll still want a lawyer to look over the agreement.
Have you (or a friend) gone through a divorce amicably? What financial suggestions can you offer to help pave the way a little? Pop them in the box below.
