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She's going too far if she's hurting herself
Firstly, I refuse to allow the word slut to be used! It’s a degrading term to women, one that we fear and one that prohibits us as much sexual freedom as our male counterparts. Also, as there is no equivalent word as derogative for male promiscuity it’s a sexist term, one that should be abolished, especially amongst ourselves.
There is, however, such a thing as sleeping around too much, something both men and woman are capable of.
Your friend is going too far and sleeping around too much if she is hurting herself. So if she is putting her health at risk, by not protecting herself against sexually transmitted diseases, putting her safety at risk by going home with virtual strangers or putting her emotional state at risk by letting herself get hurt every time a man uses her body for sexual gratification then your friend is sleeping around too much and you should take it upon yourself to confront her about her sexual behaviour.
This is a sensitive topic, one which should be approached in a gentle manner with carefully selected terms, avoid slut and derivatives of it completely! Explain to your friend that you are concerned about her and that you have noticed her sexual behaviour could be putting her in harm's way. Ask her why she is doing this and how it leaves her feeling?
Offer her your support and friendship so that she can start taking steps toward a healthy sex life, one that leaves her feeling happy and sexually satisfied.
N.R
Find the reason behind the behaviour
To be honest, the best thing to do with a friend in this situation is find the reason she is doing this. Because the fact she is using her body for meaningless sex shows she is craving acceptance and love, meaning she probably has low self esteem issues and she think that’s all she can get.
Sleeping with people makes her feel temporarily good about herself - this becomes a drug where they need to feed off the attention they get from men. In this case I would pull my friend aside take her for a makeover or a spa treatment something to make her feel special, then constantly reassure her on how pretty she looks and how she shouldn’t settle for less than what she deserves.
T.T
Whatever you do, don't be accusatory
This is a tricky situation, and definitely one that should be handled delicately. If you come across as accusing your friend of being...umm...'loose', she's more than likely to take offense and go on the defensive and not actually hear you out.
The best way would be to approach it would be as though you are interested in whether these are potential suitors by saying that you've noticed she's been 'dating' quite a bit and you were wondering if any of them were boyfriend material?
It'll open the convo on a lighter note so that you can get to the root of the problem because chances are that this is a manifestation of a far deeper issue. If your friend has recently gone through a bad break-up or a traumatic experience then she may be playing the field to try and see if she's still desirable or to defer from dealing with the actual problem/fear at hand.
Tell her that you care about her and even though you know she's a tough cookie, you feel that she may be throwing her name away with this kind of behaviour. That you are there for her if she would like to talk about whatever may be bothering her and that you are willing to help her find a solution. Be willing to help her find a solution! Sometimes just talking about it is enough, but not always.
At the end of the day, bed hopping is not going to solve anything. And if she just has an insatiable sexual appetite all of a sudden and doesn't know how to handle it...as a good friend - you should get her a toy. One that goes Rrrrrrrrrr! ;-)
T.P
We also asked: If a feather is kinky and a chicken is perverted... where’s the line between sexually emancipated and beyond-the-pale slutty?
Here's what you had to say…
It's all about love and respect
To my mind the answer is fairly simple and can be summarized in two words- love and respect. If your sexual escapades are crossing those boundaries and you are no longer respecting and loving yourself- it's gone too far.
The minute your emotional wellbeing and safety are at risk- don't do it! As enjoyable as it may be endless casual sex is not only dangerous (who knows what disease and/or criminal record that guy might have?!) it can also have a devastating effect on your own sense of self worth. So go on and have some fun but remember, ultimately, you deserve more!
A.J
Only if you feel bad
Its only slutty if you yourself feel bad or dirty afterwards, or if you are not honest with your partners about what you're looking for. If you practice safe sex, and make sure you are not misleading anyone, then its all good.
K.D
The difference between the two
For me it comes down to whether you need a man to make you feel validated. A sexually emancipated woman is with a man because she WANTS to be, not because she NEEDS to be. A slut will sleep with anybody at the end of the day just to show that someone wants to be with her.
L.G
Do you agree with the sentiments above? Tell us who you think gave the best answer by voting in the comment box below.
