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Someone I know once called Joburg a giant mall. It was funny at the time. We laughed really hard, then moved on. But ask me today – a month into staying in Joburg – what I think of it and the answer will be: it’s one giant mall! Really, how many malls can one city have?
Did you know that, where I stay in Rosebank, there is a mall inside a mall? Now beat that! Just out of curiosity, what do we call the other places, the pre-mall?
Okay, maybe Rosebank is the extreme, I thought. So I decided to go check out the “fun” place: Alexandra.
Get this, there is a taxi rank above the mall. I am not talking about downtown Joburg, no sir. Yes, a taxi rank above the mall. If that does not define “self-contained”, I don’t know what does. It then hit me: I kind of like it. In fact, the tycoons in my country have a thing or two to learn. I hope they read this.
By 2014, there were at least 1 785 malls throughout the country with Joburg taking a mammoth 44% of those. Oh yes, 785 malls are in Joburg alone, and by the end of this year, at least 30 more are expected to be up and running.
Now that is proof that South Africans are not joking about this mall business.
This makes sense. It explains why I brought an empty bag with me. I mean, I was coming to the mall, right?
Also, the notion is that the bargains are right here. True, what would cost me, say, R100 in Uganda might be about R30 to R40 here. Now that is a bargain! I am talking about the “normal” stores like Mr Price. Oh, I have a bone to pick with them: why double the price
in my country? But that will be a fight for another
day, yeah?
Interestingly, though, the folks here are no fools. They know they’ve got the deals and, boy, do they rock them.
Stand by the road; in fact, go to downtown Joburg and look at the fashion trends. The streets are awash with folks adorned in the trending gladiator sandals and the trending sneakers.
And it’s the time of the bright-coloured sneaker – nearly all the feet on the streets boast coloured shoes. They will be worn with literally anything, from skirts with the highest slits to the tiniest shorts.
One thing stands: almost everyone has an eye for fashion. I have caught myself staring and even wondering where I could get the stuff I see on the street and the answer is always simple: the mall.
I recently bought a hair accessory and the very next day my Uber driver (an awesome woman, yes woman) turned up wearing the exact flowers. We just smiled and silently wondered who wore it better...
When not wearing the fine outfits and looking like they’ve just stepped out of music videos, the teens, I noticed, linger in the malls. It is roll call out there, and no one will be caught outside the mall. I mean, it is as if when the school bell rings in this part of the world, therein lies a silent command to run to the mall.
As the teens buzz around and dance to whichever music is the loudest – either in the mall or in their heads – the adults are sipping on all sorts of wine.
Oh, wait, the wine... I am in South Africa, the place where wine might as well be water. Since you are in Joburg, just go and find some wine in the mall.
Here is an idea. With the name changes going on, why don’t you change the name Joburg to The Mall. I mean, my air ticket would read “Entebbe airport to The Mall”...
