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'I'm not bleaching my arse!'

At the moment there is quite a buzz in the media about a new product that has been developed in India called 18 Again. In the ad, a man and a woman are dancing in a public square while the woman sings “I feel like a virgin” and “it feels like the very first time” as the man smarmily agrees.

After a while, you realise that she does not mean this in a metaphorical, Madonnaesque way; she is literally saying that her vag feels like a virgin’s again thanks to this tightening and rejuvenating cream.

Meanwhile, right here in Cape Town, a friend of mine recently went for a procedure that dissolved her fat while another one had a very fine line tattooed between her lashes to make them look thicker.

Some of the girls at work are going for botox next week and I have kind of made a pact with myself that I’ll have a boobjob after my hypothetical kids have ruined my breasts.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t necessarily think this means we’re all going to hell in a handbasket – I just don’t see where it will end.

With celebrities looking less and less human (think Kim Kardashian) and photographic studios offering to Photoshop pictures of your children (who DOES that), I can’t see the trend of bizarre body modifications going anywhere but up.

And the better the products and procedures get to make you thinner/ lighter/ bronzer/ flawless, the more ridiculous the ideals will become.

Because, you see, it’s all about money.

If models and actresses appeared on magazines and TVs looking like normal people, then normal people will stop buying expensive shit to look better.

I don’t know about you, but I keep falling for it. I buy super-duper mascara and lip-plumping gloss and towering high heels, and body bronzers and perfect tone foundation and padded bras and bright nail polish and teeth whitening toothpaste and volumising shampoo. Yet, I still don’t look the way I’m “supposed” to look.

Surely this game is rigged?

I think it’s time we draw the line, girls. Because I am definitely not bleaching my anus!

Be honest now. If money and societal pressure was not an issue for you, would you consider cosmetic surgery?  And if so, what would you have done?
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