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And people’s reasons for selling are as diverse as the shoes on sale.
I mean, who gets four pairs of boots as unwanted gifts? And who spends a fortune on designer shoes that turn out to be too big or too small?
Right, your jeans may fit very snugly after a week or two of indulgence, but your feet surely stay the same size.
Let’s get down to the brass tacks with these weird shoe ads:
A Takkie (tacky/) boot
What the hell is this? It looks like something from a mediaeval torture chamber, not a shoe shop. Is it a takkie? Is it a boot? Is it a wedged heel? Whatever it is, I cannot see that looking elegant on anyone, wearing any outfit under the sun. But here’s the killer: the owner, who has only had these shoes for a year, only WHORE them twice. Stay away from this pair of takkie boots – you just don’t know where they’ve been.
See ad here.
Night and day
This person is selling two pairs of shoes. The one looks as if it could come straight from a drag show, and the other looks like the shoes a teacher would wear to a job interview. And the seller wants to sell both pairs to the same person. Maybe a supermodel could pull off the golden, shiny ones, but they do look a bit like super-bling crossed with an orthopaedic bandage. The other pair has a distinctly formal and rather funereal air to them. I suppose if you have both of these in your cupboard, you’re prepared for more or less whatever event life throws your way.
See ad here.
From a dizzy height
This unfortunate seller can no longer wear any heels as she has had a knee operation. But the big question is: Did she perhaps fall off these staggeringly high and multi-coloured wedges? Did she feel dizzy just looking at their colours, and fainted? If so, I wouldn’t recommend that you buy them.
See ad here.
Cinderella strikes again
These really do look as if at any moment the Prince is going to come around to see who this glittering glass slipper might fit. I remember being deeply disturbed as a child by images of Cinderella’s ugly sisters maiming their feet in order to try and fit into the slipper the prince was carrying. If I were them, I wouldn’t have bothered if the slipper the Prince was carrying looked anything like these ones do.
See ad here.
R7 a pair
These really do look as if their day has come and gone. They have a tired air about them as if they have been worn to within an inch of their lives. And the seller only wants R50 for the lot, which is, I suppose, a bargain for someone who wears a size 6 and who needs seven tired pairs of sandals. I say give them to the next person who comes to the door asking for old clothes.
See ad here.
Creep, creep, slither, slither
I know people wear lots of different animal skins – ostrich, crocodile, sheepskin and so forth. But there is something decidedly creepy about this pair of python skin cowboy boots. Not to say decidedly redolent of pimp-wear. You couldn’t wear these to the supermarket, or to work, could you? Those scales look downright slithery – as if a little flicking tongue could emerge from the tip of the boot at any moment. See, you find them creepy too.
See ad here.
An Eskimo in Durban
OK, I know these have been in fashion now for a while, but they still look to me as if they should only be worn north of the Arctic Circle. They have a distinct air of Inuit (Eskimo) seal hunter about them. I am not at all surprised that someone who lives in Durban City is trying to sell them. It is simply never cold enough to wear these, however fashionable they may be.
See ad here.
A white elephant
Apart from the fact that these don’t look as if anyone could walk in them without imitating the sound of a building being demolished, what fascinates me is that they were obviously carefully chosen by the owner, and brought here all the way from Australia. They weren’t cheap, but hey, they don’t fit either. Before I dragged something like that over several continents, I would spend two minutes in the shop just trying them on. Just to be on the safe side.
See ad here.
All I don’t want for Christmas
Call me old-fashioned, but these don’t look as if anyone should be able to wear them – ever. They simply appear to defy all the laws of gravity and I think there’s a small furry animal caught in the straps. But wait, that’s not all – there are three more pairs waiting to be sold by this user. And all four pairs were unwanted gifts. If you have friends who give you shoes such as these for your birthday, get other friends.
See ad here.
Looking for a good home
OK , so these looked great in the shop and she paid a fortune for them. Wore them for just the one day, only to realise they were simply too narrow and she wasn’t going to walk them in. My sympathies. I also don’t have narrow feet. I think maybe only the Italians do. Next time, do your shoe fitting at the end of the day when your feet are slightly swollen.
See ad here.
