Dating advice from the 1930s vs now
Here's some advice from our ed Lili Radoff on the do's and dont's of flirting:
Making eye contact
The right way: If you look into someone’s eyes when you speak to them it shows you’re interested in what they’re saying. Also, the whole looking up into someone’s eyes and then lowering your lashes actually works. It felt really contrived and I felt really stupid when I did that, but the cashier that I tried it with actually blushed.
The wrong way: Heads up: some people have really nice eyes, so when you look into them it’s hard to look away. Don’t get caught in their gaze! Trust me, unless you’re newly in love or if you’re doing iridology, don’t stare into someone’s eyes continuously. It’s weird and off-putting and not very subtle. There’s a guy at work who still thinks there’s something wrong with me because I stared into his eyes too long.
Touching and grooming
The right way: Stroking your hair, fixing your collar, touching your face. As a person who does this anyway – and who grooms other people too (honestly, I’m like a monkey sometimes) I couldn’t really see if this worked in my favour or not.
The wrong way: Apparently women who constantly rearrange their clothes, hair and makeup come over as fidgety and insecure. Which is not cool obviously. But hey, rather come over as insecure than have your boobs pop out or your jeans fall down. But that’s just me.
The right way: Smile when you mean it. People smile back with their eyes.
The wrong way: Smile like you mean it. People smile back with their mouths.
Touching your mouth
The right way: You want to draw attention to your mouth to show it’s pretty, sexy, kissable. I did this over dinner the other night and my husband asked me: “Are you flirting with me?” Which I guess counts as a win?
The wrong way: You don’t want to look as if you have something stuck in your teeth. As he later asked me: “Do you have something stuck in your teeth?”
The right way: A slight non-intrusive touch on a neutral body part. I generally do this when I’m sober. I’ve noticed that people don’t mind it at all and I think it helps with the bonding of friends.
The wrong way: Don’t be over-familiar. Putting your hand on someone’s thigh – no matter how kindly you mean it – is over-familiar. This usually happens when I’m drunk and it has two equally unwanted responses: a) a person immediately thinks you’re coming on to them and they’re flattered, or b) a person immediately thinks you’re coming on to them and they’re horrified. As I said, equally mortifying.
And here are some of the pearls of wisdom for women dating in
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