My year of men

But God bless the man who thinks drinking Moet with food in Styrofoam dishes is appropriate, and who does not ask where the other bottle of Moet might have disappeared to. (I am quite sure that the state of my speech and the dancing I was doing alone in the kitchen was a dead giveaway, though.)

Waking up fresh on the 1st of January with a wee champers hangover made me think about the past year of life and laughter and of course the men who dotted the landscape.

It is sometimes amazing who and what you will date and that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

From wanker to retard and back
2007 started off with the serial wanker (whether I was in the room or not). I can honestly say I have not met another person with the inclination to jerk off in just about any situation. Needless to say, he turned out to be a total wanker in more ways than one.

Then there was the guy that was only scoring me because it was "out of season". Code for there were no models around. He was heard to say he could not wait for season again because he was sick of sifting through the shit to find the diamonds. All I can hope is that some model shoves her stiletto up his bum.

Let me not forget the emotionally stunted 38-year-old who, in fits of confusion, could not decide whether we were meant to be lovers or siblings (we were not related, he was just fucked in the head). This confirmed my theory: if he has not been snapped up, or at least been in a serious relationship by his late 30's, then it is advised to steer clear.

Making a clean sweep (of bed and phone)
Generally New Year's Resolutions mean making a clean sweep of all male debris in my path.

This usually includes hoofing the last 2007 man out of my bed (as he may be wasting precious face time for finding love of 2008), deleting all numbers which might encourage drunk dialling and deleting all photographic evidence of 2007 misdemeanours.

After the spring-clean it is time for lunch with the girls to come up with a new strategy for life, love and world domination. Some of these well thought out solutions are listed below.

My New Year Resolutions 2008