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It seems love really is blind. We’ve all done it, you know, ignore a partner’s bad behaviour. It is okay if what you’re overlooking is a pair of underpants on the living room floor but when you ignore something harmful like abuse it is time to stop and think.
Think with your brain and not with your heart. Women struggle with that. We so easily confuse our thoughts with our feelings. It’s especially hard to distinguish between the two when it comes to l.o.v.e.
In a previous blog I ask how long one should wait before jumping into another relationship. Call me an ugly, unwanted, crazy cat lady…oh wait, some of you already have… but I still think you should get over your ex completely before you enter into a relationship with someone else.
My reasoning?
Let’s say you’re in an abusive relationship – physical abuse. The times when he’s not beating you, you’re happy and that to you is enough.
It is enough because your previous boyfriend was an even bigger douchebag. Maybe he not only hit you but cheated on you too. So in all fairness this new boyfriend is a step-up… you argue. Then, one day the relationship ends.
A while later you realise what hell you went through. You start thinking with your brain again. That’s good.
But then while your heart is still hurting someone else comes along.
He promises you the world, much like the previous boyfriend did. In most ways he’s better than the ex; he’s loving and caring and assures you that he’ll never lift a hand to you.
BUT he uses drugs and not every now and again…daily. He leaves you in a panic when he disappears for days on end with not even a SMS saying he’s okay. He steals from you to feed his drug habit. Yet…you ignore all that. You are just so glad that you’ve met someone who is better than your ex – someone who doesn’t hit you – you don’t realise this guy is just another bad breakup waiting to happen.
What if you waited? What if you were strong enough to say, “Hey, I’m not over my ex. Let’s be friends for now while I work on myself”.
Maybe if you tried to be friends first you would have seen that he is not your knight in shining armour but just a step-up from your ex. Someone that is keeping you from being the best you can be and maybe even someone who is occupying the space that is meant for someone that is truly great and not just a little bit better than the last scumbag you dated.
Are you convinced yet? Fireworks and champagne if you are, #facepalm if you’re not. But let’s leave it there.
If you ask yourself why a woman would be in a relationship with a man that does anything to hurt her, physically or emotionally, you’ll see it comes down to self-worth. They don’t believe they deserve better or can do better because of x, y and z.
I wish I could shake these women – wake them up and tell them they are wonderful, caring, sexy goddesses who should realise their worth and surround themselves with people who do too.
They don’t have to leap at any man who treats them a little better than the last. They can wait for the one that will make all the boyfriends before look like the devils they are.
Bottom line, you deserve better when what he does makes you feel anything less than the beautiful woman you are. Never settle.
Miss_Muse is a Women24 reader and blogs on Women24's blogging platform. You can read more on her blog here.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
Think with your brain and not with your heart. Women struggle with that. We so easily confuse our thoughts with our feelings. It’s especially hard to distinguish between the two when it comes to l.o.v.e.
In a previous blog I ask how long one should wait before jumping into another relationship. Call me an ugly, unwanted, crazy cat lady…oh wait, some of you already have… but I still think you should get over your ex completely before you enter into a relationship with someone else.
My reasoning?
Let’s say you’re in an abusive relationship – physical abuse. The times when he’s not beating you, you’re happy and that to you is enough.
It is enough because your previous boyfriend was an even bigger douchebag. Maybe he not only hit you but cheated on you too. So in all fairness this new boyfriend is a step-up… you argue. Then, one day the relationship ends.
A while later you realise what hell you went through. You start thinking with your brain again. That’s good.
But then while your heart is still hurting someone else comes along.
He promises you the world, much like the previous boyfriend did. In most ways he’s better than the ex; he’s loving and caring and assures you that he’ll never lift a hand to you.
BUT he uses drugs and not every now and again…daily. He leaves you in a panic when he disappears for days on end with not even a SMS saying he’s okay. He steals from you to feed his drug habit. Yet…you ignore all that. You are just so glad that you’ve met someone who is better than your ex – someone who doesn’t hit you – you don’t realise this guy is just another bad breakup waiting to happen.
What if you waited? What if you were strong enough to say, “Hey, I’m not over my ex. Let’s be friends for now while I work on myself”.
Maybe if you tried to be friends first you would have seen that he is not your knight in shining armour but just a step-up from your ex. Someone that is keeping you from being the best you can be and maybe even someone who is occupying the space that is meant for someone that is truly great and not just a little bit better than the last scumbag you dated.
Are you convinced yet? Fireworks and champagne if you are, #facepalm if you’re not. But let’s leave it there.
If you ask yourself why a woman would be in a relationship with a man that does anything to hurt her, physically or emotionally, you’ll see it comes down to self-worth. They don’t believe they deserve better or can do better because of x, y and z.
I wish I could shake these women – wake them up and tell them they are wonderful, caring, sexy goddesses who should realise their worth and surround themselves with people who do too.
They don’t have to leap at any man who treats them a little better than the last. They can wait for the one that will make all the boyfriends before look like the devils they are.
Bottom line, you deserve better when what he does makes you feel anything less than the beautiful woman you are. Never settle.
Miss_Muse is a Women24 reader and blogs on Women24's blogging platform. You can read more on her blog here.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
