Publications
Partners
I love beautiful people, and I'm not talking about all that inner beauty crap, and if at this point you think I'm shallow, then you would be spot on. I've even gone as far as making friends only with beautiful people, again very shallow, I know.
I also know that my fascination with good-looking people comes from a childhood bullying complex, where I was the designated victim of my so-called friends.
I still stand by the fact that primary schools breed some of the worst human beings. I remember a few insults that made me run to my mom, one of them featuring eleven-year-old me asking my mom to relax my hair because apparently the Bratz dolls were not recruiting a lollipop with a fro.
Yup. Kids. Are. Mean.
My point is if I'm walking down the street and see two guys walking, I can guarantee you that my attention will linger on the more attractive one. Judge all you want, but we all have our shallow standards.
So back to the point of this column; I've started dating again and it’s going great, as in tall, chiselled and beardiful kinda great. I met him two weeks ago, we did the whole first date thing; I wore a blue dress and even brushed my hair with a brush and not run my hands through it like I normally do – basically I went ALL OUT for a guy I met at MacDonalds.
After a few beers and giggles we shared a few tales. He told me about how he was in the Israeli army and naturally I wanted to jump his bones. He showed me a few snaps of him flying a plane and my loins actually started burning.
We strolled back to my place like horny teenagers after prom. I fumbled with my keys, not because of silly butterflies in my tummy, but because of the beer playing its role for the night. We got back to my place and I gave him a tour of my apartment. Showed him everything but my room.
Not because I was scared of the don’t-sleep-with-a-guy-on-first-date rule! I am not going to slut shame myself, or even worse cock-block myself.
He didn't see my room because all my flatmate’s crap was in there. I'm currently the only one whose furniture hasn't arrived, so yeah.
I made sure the girls saw his face, because seriously this guy is very beautiful. He kind of looks like Nick Jonas, seriously, his face would be all over this post if it wasn't for the confidentiality clause.
The first date was a breeze, aside from the "I've never kissed a bla… I mean girl with full lips before” comment. Anyway, I pushed that little remark aside and continued making out with him.
The second date was purely sexual and so were all the dates we had this week. You would think I was in an Israeli Jonas episode of Sex in the City.
This was up until last night when we were laying on my mattress (don’t laugh I'm 22 and pay my own rent so bear with ) and he casually looks at me, pouting his plump lips and says:
"Aren't you scared of Aids?"
What?
But wait for it, it gets worse.
"I mean this is Africa, but I guess it helps that you not from a poor area."
Breathe.
He said all this with a serious face, might I add. At this point the penny dropped and all the ignorant stuff his said the past week hit me like a deadly flashback. Like the fact that he assumes I only watch SABC or the time he assumed Nivea body cream was the best first gift.
I feel like I need to ask again: When does personality over attractiveness come into play?
I have dated and been in meaningful relationships before so I know all about loving someone for who they are blah blah blah. But can I not pick Jonas sex over smart conversations?
I know I should blow him off, but I'm not there yet, because Jonas sex people. Jonas sex!
