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This couple is not bothered by their 30 year age gap: 'We’re just like any other regular couple'

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PHOTO: Supplied
PHOTO: Supplied

“It doesn’t bother us,” she says, laughing.

“We’re just like any other regular couple,” says Carly Schäper (23), a dancer from Durban, about her marriage to mechanical engineer Graeme Eksteen (52), who’s almost three decades her senior.

The South African couple’s love story recently made headlines internationally when the British Daily Mail reported on the large age gap. The story has also been shared widely on social media.

“I think they [Daily Mail] were just looking for sensation,” Carly says. Apparently the publication came across pictures of her and her much older hubby on her Instagram profile. In the pics, the couple are seen cuddling, kissing and taking selfies together.

Carly confirmed to YOU that Graeme is indeed 29 years older than she is. She says many people don’t realise they’re a married couple. “Yes, a lot of people think my husband is my father.”

But she maintains she and Graeme, whom she married in July, don’t concern themselves with criticism. They’re also not bothered by “strange looks” they sometimes get in supermarkets.

“When people give us strange looks and we can see they’re trying to figure out what our relationship to each other is, we tease them a bit. I’ll kiss him to see what their reaction is, and we’ll laugh about it.”

She was born in Cape Town and grew up in Gauteng. She met Graeme two years ago when she moved from Cape Town to Durban with her dad, Gavin Grimett (47), and sister, Savannah (18).

“I’d taught ballroom and Latin dance before and was looking for someone to teach dance lessons with.” She adds she was looking for an established dance teacher. Carly posted on Facebook asking if any of her friends knew of someone and a friend suggested Graeme.

Before starting teaching dance lessons together, she met Graeme for coffee. “It wasn’t love at first sight,” she says of their first meeting. “He always says it was love at first sight for him. But we only spoke about dancing.”

She found it fascinating that Graeme, who has national colours in ballroom and Latin-American dance, only started dancing in his 40s.

She says though not romantic, there was an instant bond.

“We immediately clicked, especially intellectually. We have many of the same interests. We’re both passionate about God, animals – especially cats – and nature.”

Both are vegans too.

Carly says they soon started teaching dance lessons and they even moved in together – though initially their relationship was strictly platonic. She’d just ended a long-term relationship and wasn’t ready for another romance yet.

“Graeme was very supportive. He didn’t pressure me. He only admitted much later that he had feelings for me. I think at first I’d just needed the comfort, and then I started falling in love with him.”

He started spending time with her and her father – who’s five years younger than Graeme – and sister. At first they kept their feelings for each other quiet. “I was scared I’d give my dad a heart attack if he found out!”

Carly says her mom, Pearl Schäper (50), who lives in Pretoria, was supportive of her friendship with Graeme. “My dad was suspicious. He told me he was worried about the loving looks Graeme was giving me, and that he was just too concerned with my weight!”

When her dad found out they’d started a romantic relationship about two months after they first met, he was angry at first. Carly reckons her mom was more understanding because there was an age difference of 18 years between her mom’s own parents.

“My dad eventually came to other insights and accepted it. I think it’s because he can see Graeme treats me well.”

She says she loves Graeme very much. “Graeme is very spiritual. He’s a stable person and incredibly loyal. I think my dad would rather that I be with an older man who cares for me instead of someone who treats me badly.”

She runs an online vegan shop and says Graeme has good business sense and gives her sound advice. But none of this means that they never have an argument. Carly says she’s the “creative one” and Graeme is “old school”. “His approach is much more conservative, especially when it comes to his dance techniques.”

Though they were married in July, they’re planning to have another ceremony in March for the benefit of their friends and family.

When asked to comment, Graeme said things are great between them and that Carly’s fresh ideas and approach to life is what attracted him to her. “She keeps me young!”

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