An interview with a player
'So. You wanna get naked? :)’
It was 9 pm on a Thursday night and I’d just gotten out of the bath when my phone beeped through this message.
It was from Mr Player and I wasn't at all surprised. He'd zeroed in a few weeks back and the flirt had started flatlining. It was clearly time to kick it up a level. I didn't respond. He amuses me but I don't do players, generally speaking. They're different breed all on their own.
But it did get me thinking about what makes him tick. What it is about men like him that seem perpetually on the hunt; those men for whom one woman will never, ever be enough. So I thought I'd cut to chase and have a little one-on-one with him in the verbal sense. He obliged for many reasons I'm sure. But I guess he figured if I wasn't going to give his cock a ride, I could stroke his ego instead.
I can honestly say that this Mr Player is the first bona fide 'playah' I've had the opportunity to speak to frankly. Mostly I’m locked in a kinda cat and mouse game with them that I always walk away from. For one thing, I distrust people who are too smooth and, for another, man whores can only ever break your heart. Fact.
So some background on our Mr Player:
He's average looking, says he’s able to sum a woman up in under five minutes, talks about the rules of the game, doesn’t believe sex is about trust but rather about the ‘passion, excitement and the knowledge you're both gonna have an explosive time’ and has slept with about 700 women.
He’s also married. And has been so for the last 28 years.
No prizes for calculating that that's a lot of fucking women other than his wife. But issues of the meaning and reasons behind fidelity aside, what I want to know is: How does he get it right (on) so consistently?
He calls me from a hotel room (Business. No really.) before a meeting. He has some time, he says, before an 'old friend' will join him for drinks before the business dinner. (I find out later that his friend comes freshly waxed. 'I thought about you though, Dot.' Nice.)
We settle into the convo quite easily. And he's obliging with info; it's not every day he can talk openly about his sexual appetite. Or explain it to someone other than his therapist.
So, I ask, what's the game-plan? How does this work? In my mind I have an image of a slick, smirky, gold-chained, white-shoed walking brand sidling up to women in bars oozing bad cologne and arrogance over their Peronis.
But that would be too obvious.
'There's no game-plan Dot,' he says earnestly. 'It's not like I go out to shag as many women as possible. I guess I'm just sensitive to the situation. Eye contact. You know when something's going to happen. You'll feel it. There's an energy between you and you'll just know that you can give each other a good time. It goes on from there...'
I can buy into that. Nothing beats the thrill of that initial attraction.
Something's missing though. Getting a woman you've just met into bed is not that easy, even if the 'vibe' is all there up in your face. Ask any of one of the millions of men who don't know how to speak to women, let alone sleep with them.
And then Mr Player nails it right on the head.
'You see Dot, it's always about her. When you're there it's about understanding what makes her tick. And then? She always initiates. Women are always the ones that will decide to sleep with you.'
Mr Player knows that women like to feel in control even as they're being swept off their feet by the intoxicating rush of attention. We are all, every one of us, easily charmed by the thrill of riding that big cock called ego.
So I don't care much about the women who cry crocodile tears about being used after they're bagged by men like Mr Player. Besides, I believe him when he says he's upfront about what he can and cannot offer aside from The Deed.
'They always know I'm married. I don't make any promises. I don't tell them I love them. They know that it's just sex. People forget that women like to play around also.'
Not that that's stopped some 'crazies' getting in the way and expecting more. Some women are just silly that way, aren't they.
So why you still with your wife?
'I love her to pieces. We married too young though. And I think I'm just a serial slut...nothing to do with love or anything. Just a naughty boy sometimes. I do have a massive guilty conscience about it. It is bad, but I never mean to hurt anyone. Besides, I like being married.'
What on earth do you like about being married then? It seems to be the only natural question to ask, the only question that seems to matter.
'Homeliness. It's difficult to explain. I love having sex. Is that so bad? I just love beautiful women. It's just the way I am.'
In truth, I have no problems with players. They play a game that someone is willing to play right along with them. My problem is that someone is always being lied to. While my Mr Player maybe be perfectly honest ('All good lies only fly with some honesty, Dot') to the women he sleeps with, I can't be sure who he has to fool more to make it through the day – him or his wife.
Just before I hang up, he drops a one-liner, a personal slogan that manages to be more depressing than witty – I love woman Dot, and you're next.
Sad fact is, I like him enough that if I wasn't already partnered with Mr Hardman I probably would sleep with him. That's how good he is.
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Do you think all players are dirty dogs? Or are they just doing what every man wishes he could do?