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In response to a poll on Women24, more than half of our voters said they prefer Lindt chocolate over cunnilingus. Yes folks. 54% of women would rather enjoy a freaking Lindt bunny than having their partner go down on them.
So I’m thinking three things:
a) Is there something bloody fantastic about Lindt that I just don’t get?
b) Are South African women just not very in touch with their sexuality?
c) Are a lot of men really bad at cunnilingus?
I took this conversation to Twitter and got a few choice responses.
@shellsdraai “Lindt: Always obtainable, always good, makes u happy dsnt disapoint Cunninglingus: Not always obtainable & gross when its bad”
@rabryst: “I prefer chocolate. No hair in your teeth.”
@miriamjorna: “i'd say (in hetero situation) that he eats you and you eat lindt?”
@kitt69: “My vagina is not an ice-cream cone. As nice as that would be I'm not sure it would be NICER to lick...”
And my favourite:
@uberfiend: “Most Catholics would give up cunnilingus for Lindt”
(By the way Lindt – you’re welcome to pay us any time soon.)
Although I’m of the opinion that even bad sex is still pretty good, I do understand that continued, unfulfilling love-making would drive any person to uncontrolled bunny munching.
So why isn’t there a bigger focus on getting women off? Most women’s bodies just aren’t wired to explode in pleasure after a tweak and a poke and a quick up and down. And a lot of women find it hard to climax even when treated with extreme patience. Incidentally, the British Journal of Pharmacology recently published their findings of a prototype drug and its positive effects on female sexual arousal disorder (FSAD). It stimulates blood flow to the female genitals – a bit like Viagra for women – which makes it much easier for women to become aroused and to achieve orgasm.
But bafflingly Pfizer doesn’t have any plans to develop medicine for FSAD.
So in the mean time we should focus on what we have. Our sex columnist, Dorothy Black has already implored men to sharpen their cunnilingus skills. And I’ve spent an evening with a group of lesbian friends to get their tips. And hey, let’s be honest, it’s not like it’s a chore to practice.
Or must we ask Lindt to start making chocolate vaginas?
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