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Engaging in a threesome is one of the most appealing sexual fantasies because it suggests double the pleasure and allows for a kind of "consensual infidelity". But if neither of you are quite ready for the reality, you can still live out the fantasy – you just need a little imagination...
You arrive home and your partner says: "You know we've been talking about those friends of ours who like to swing? Let's go upstairs – I think they're planning to join us tonight." Blindfold your partner and lead them up to the dimly lit bedroom, where there is a large mirror.
Start seducing your partner, kissing, caressing and undressing them while pressed up against the mirror. When both of you are fully aroused, say: "Whose hands are these? Are they mine or John or Jane's? They're here."
Take off the blindfold and allow your partner to see your reflections in the half-light. Keep up a running commentary about what they are doing to your partner, and to each other and to you.
Think carefully about how you touch your partner. If you're always very gentle, suggest that the other person fondling your partner is much rougher than you and be a little rougher with your partner to enhance the fantasy.
Replace the blindfold and ask your partner what they want the other person in the threesome to do to them, then say: "I'm going to step back now and watch while they do what you asked for." As long as both of you are prepared to buy into the fantasy, this roleplay is a great way to explore threesome or group fantasies.
Since we can usually recognise our partner by the smell of their bodies or the fragrance they use, add to the sensation that someone else is involved in the sex by washing with an unfamiliar soap or using an unfamiliar fragrance.
How to take it further
In reality, having an extra partner (or partners) in your bed can be fraught with difficulty, not least because it can lead to feelings of jealousy. You can, however, safely build on the fantasy described above by introducing sex toys into your lovemaking.
All tied up
The appeal of bondage as part of a consensual sex fantasy is that we have no control over what our partner does to us. We're defenceless. And it's particularly charged if she's the one strapping you down. So get out the rope and try this for size.
You're the boss. You have high standards and never let a mistake go by without soundly reprimanding the person who made it. He's your assistant, in awe of you, and he's made an error. You let him have it.
"For heaven's sake, look at this work. It's a mess. What did you think you were doing? If you don't want the sack, you'll have to take your punishment." Strip off his tie and, using that and the sash of your dress, tie him to the chair. We're sure you can take it from here...
Never tie anything around a partner's neck and remove any bondage if the person who's bound complains of numbness in the area of restraint. It's also a good idea to have scissors handy just in case they need to be released in a hurry. Always agree on one arbitrary word that means stop.
How to take it further
Most sex shops stock an array of bondage paraphernalia, from leather "slave harnesses" to handcuffs, belts and other more unusual restraints. You need an adventurous nature to try this kind of stuff, but there's something else that's far more important: trust.
Without it, restraint can be a dangerous game – particularly if your partner leaves you naked and strapped to a tree in your garden.
Power really is the great aphrodisiac it's made out to be. And as long as both of you are up for sexual power games, they can be revealing, liberating and fun.
You're Miss Whiplash. Your partner nervously knock on the door. You answer, wearing a tight bodysuit and stiletto heels and carrying a whip. "Come in worm, strip off and do as you're told!" you snap. You lead him into the dungeon and watches as he strips to his underwear.
As he takes off each piece of clothing, prod him with your whip and sneer. "What a miserable body, you really need some correction, don't you?" Before the session, hand him a written list of instructions on small pieces of paper, get him to pick one and hand it to you.
"Suck my toes!" you say, reading the instruction. "Now, take down your mistress's panties with your teeth." Use a feather and a whip to tickle and spank him into submission. The rest is up to you and your imagination.
To delay ejaculation try the classic "squeeze technique". Grab his penis with your hand so the back of your fingers are against his stomach. Then press your thumb firmly just under the head of his penis at the point when he's about to come. This should delay ejaculation and can be repeated as many times as you like.
How to take it further
As your sub/dom relationship develops you might want to introduce more physical punishment – like whipping and spanking – into the fantasy. Just make sure you agree on a word that signals to your partner that things have gone too far. Don't use "Stop" as saying this and meaning it can be two different things in fantasy play. Choose something unusual and completely unsexy instead like "Parrot", "Apple" or "Scrumhalf".
There are endless variations on the power game, with varying levels of control and humiliation. Remember, it's as much about power as sex and not all of the roleplay has to be sexual for it to be exciting.
While sex is usually considered a private act, there's a deep desire in many of us to show off our sexual prowess to the entire world.
You're in your dressing room, getting ready for the big act – a live sex show. You can hear the music coming up to your big number and you've already set up the lighting. When you're both ready to perform, you step into the spotlight, and slowly get down to business.
In front of an admiring, applauding audience, you proceed to strip each other. Take your time about it – each article should come off with a tease and a flourish. When you're down to nothing, fetch a bottle of baby oil from the side of the stage and spread it all over each other.
Arouse and excite each other in front of your audience ensuring they get their money's worth. Then make love in front of them all.
Every move should be larger than life and played to the gallery – even your fans at the back of the room standing on the tables and urging you on should be able to see exactly what you are doing to each other.
Don't worry if you're not a natural sexual show-off. For erotic inspiration try this: rent or buy an X-rated movie and before you play it make a pact with each other that you'll copy everything you see in the video. Except the appalling dialogue.
How to take it further
Star in your own porn movie by filming your session – just make sure you don't mix up your first cinematic masterpiece, Debbie Does Durban, when you visit your local Mr Video.
Or buy a Polaroid camera and spend an evening pretending you're on an assignment for Playgirl. Agree beforehand that the resulting photo session won't end up on your work's noticeboard or on Easter cards to your relatives.
Paying for it
The idea of paying for sex can be appealing to both sexes in this fantasy. He asks, he pays, he gets what he wants, while you gets satisfaction from knowing that you have something he put a high price on. Want extra reality? Keep the money! Time to get negotiating.
Lean up against a wall, dressed in a very short skirt or Lycra leggings and cropped top with heavy make-up. He approaches you and asks: "Are you available?" "Depends. What are you looking for?" you say.
He then tells you what he's after. He could ask for a quickie, for sex standing up in an alleyway, a hand job, oral or a 'round the world' (oral, anal and straight sex).
"That'll cost you," you say, and name your price. You may also object to what he's asked for and name another similar or easier sex act, adding: "And you'll have to wear a condom," to which he could reply: "I'll pay you double for a bareback ride."
When you finally agree on a service and the price, take the cash and lead him to the bedroom. Don't let up on the fantasy once you get there, though. You can even act a bit nervous – after all, this is a new experience (isn't it?).
As with most fantasies, your sexual roles can easily be reversed. Perhaps you like the idea of treating him as a male escort, paying for his services and following the same scenario described above.
Negotiate your services before you get into the car then drive back to "your place", where you've already laid out the tools of your trade – towels, lubricant and sex toys. The traditionalists among you could even do the deed illuminated by a red lightbulb.
There you have it. A complete guide to sexual fantasies. If there are more you'd like to share, please tell us in the comment box below.