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Help, I have never had an orgasm!

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While of course this frustrates and concerns women, many are too embarrassed to talk up because they think that they're alone in their dilemma and that others won’t understand.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

If you have had trouble climaxing during vaginal intercourse you are no different from about 80 percent of sexually active women and if you have never had an orgasm at all, around 30 percent of women also haven’t.

So please don’t suffer in silence, you’re missing out on one of the best things about growing up.

We say this, not only because deliciously mind blowing orgasms are exceedingly pleasurable and every adult female's birth right, but also because having them is as necessary to your good health and well-being as exercising, using sun screen and drinking enough water every day all rolled into one.

During orgasm our bodies releases oxytocin which facilitates bonding and relaxation and all the hot and heavy activity makes the endorphins flow so that we feel happy and giddy and all kinds of lovely positive emotions. So get to it girls and get sorted!

To start...
First of all ask your doctor to check your thyroid and make sure that you’re not suffering from diabetes or serious depression. Once all that is out the way, pull out a hand mirror and take a look at your vagina.

It is important to know that everybody’s is different, and that yours is as perfect as the next woman’s. Getting to know and accept your body is the first step to feeling confident and this is the key to becoming orgasmic.

The easiest type of stimulation to begin with is clitoral stimulation, so experiment with stimulating your clitoris and vagina with your fingers and then use a friendly vibrator. Something like Je Joue Mimi Soft or the We-vibe Touch.

These are both lovely tools when used with a water based lubricant such as Intimate Organics Vanilla Caramel. These multi-taskers double up as both a back massager and as a clitoral massager so they work well for both masturbation and for sex play with a partner.

Once you've found what works for you, share this with your partner. Reassure them that this is not a judgement on their abilities as a lover but that it’s significantly easier for us women to experience an orgasm when we engage in a variety of sex acts and if your clitoris is stimulated with a vibrator during vaginal intercourse this will help bring you to orgasm.

Finding that g-spot...
Now to get even more adventurous and find your g-spot. While the location may be slightly different in all women, it is most often found just inside the vagina and is characterized by a slightly rougher texture.

Sex experts have long touted this area of female genitalia, which is believed to contain a large number of nerve endings, as the key to helping women achieve longer and stronger orgasm.

To assist you in producing these wonderful sensations, we suggest starting with something small like a Bcute Curve Vibrator. People mistakenly believe that a vibrator needs to be a huge gadget, but it doesn't.

Your g-spot is just inside you so something small like the Bcute curve is great and can be used by either party to stimulate your g-spot.

Once you are sure you have found your g-spot, you might want to progress to a toy that does both clitoral and g-spot stimulation simultaneously. For this one the Swan Rabbit Vibrators is perfect. They’re beautiful and you can use them in the bath, on your own, or with a partner.

The good news is that as you become more sexually experience and confident the quality and frequency of your orgasms will get better and better.

And, if you are lucky enough to be in a long term relationship, the trust and intimacy that you share with your partner will benefit enormously from great and glorious orgasms all round.

This article is by Lady Fay at Lady Fay's Boudoir, a safe place created by women to escape the everyday and liberate your saucy side with sexy lingerie and sex toys.

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