Using condoms properly

Girls, you have to practice putting a condom on a man. You can’t leave your safety – literally – in the hands of someone else. Buy condoms and a banana or something and practice damnit!

Important safety tips when using condoms:

• Be sure to squeeze the air out of the tip of the condom. This extra nipple-like space is for extra expansion and ejaculate and if you don’t squeeze the tip, chances are the condom will break.

• When rolling the condom down, don’t use your fingernails!

• Only use water-based lubrication – other lubes like Vaseline and many other massage oils will damage the latex, making it unsafe.

• After sex, hold the condom at the base of the penis and pull out (the penis, not the condom) before flaccid.

• Check the expiry date. Like everything else, including lust, condoms DO NOT last forever.

• If the condom is powdery or sticky when you open it, don’t use it.

• Although it looks cool, do not tear the condom open with your teeth. It’s even cooler not to die.

• And regarding vag/anal penetration? Read this already.

• Try out the Femidon (female condom).

Alternatives to penetrative sex

Remember the things you got up to before you started having sex? I’m talking LOADS of kissing, caressing, broeknaai and handjobs? Well, instead of jumping into bed with all and sundry, try some honest to goodness snogging and heavy petting instead. Ladies, your chances of contracting diseases will lower dramatically while your chances of orgasming will rise dramatically. Give yourselves some time to make sure you actually want to swop body fluids with a person.

Common sense 

• If you feel pressurised, don’t do it.

• If you’re uncomfortable discussing protection, HIV prevention and birth control, you really shouldn’t feel comfortable enough to have sex.

• Trust your gut.

• Don’t have sex with people (unless it’s a long-time partner or spouse) when you’re drunk or on drugs.

• The Pill protects against pregnancy and nothing else. Condoms won’t protect you from genital warts. 

• If he doesn’t want to wear a condom, then screw him. Or rather, DON’T.

Don’t think it can’t happen to you? It does happen, every day. So don’t be an idiot. Be safe and be happy.

Do you know all there is to know about safe sex?