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I can’t help but want to get into the obsession that is pubic hair. If you’re over thirteen this one is for you. Male or female, we’re all faced with the same question – what to do with it?
For boys, I think this is an easier decision. You can either grow it, shave it or trim it - all options available in the comfort of your own home. I have my preferences when sleeping with someone - and sorry gentlemen - I’m going to go with shaven.
It’s not that my deepest desire is to be with some pre-pubescent, but rather that I’ve never been a big fan of hair stuck in my teeth especially the grainy, untreated kind.
And let’s be honest: just because the bulk of your shaft is hairless, a great blowjob includes a lot more of the anatomy than that. Just a thought, use it, don’t use it.
Now onto us girls. We have tons of options and I’d like to get into each one of them as I see it.
Bush in its most natural state
No! Really? Come on, we can’t possibly still be sporting bits the likes of those in bad seventies porn, could we? Really? Ladies, don’t do it. It’s wrong! It’s so Garden of Eden and I can’t possibly imagine the health risks involved. Just don’t!
To quote a good friend – ‘A lil never hurt anyone, a lot can lead to suffocation’
Trimming
This is a concept I have never understood. Why in heaven’s name would you want to trim your bush and have intentional stubble? We all know how annoying it is to kiss a boy with too much stubble for hours on end and feel like you were making out with A-grade sandpaper the next day. His member is not the enemy and I doubt he wants to remember you as the girl that chaffed him to tears. Don’t, just don’t, unless that’s his thing.
Shaving
Probably the most frequently used method of hair removal. The upside –you’re smooth as a baby’s bum and with good exfoliation, can stay that way. The downside - avoid blunt razors and please have the common sense not to nick yourself, because as funny as it would be for me to laugh at, it could be highly embarrassing and straight out painful for you.
Waxing
Three weeks of bliss, no worrying about what she looks like should you have that unexpected shag. But then you’re faced with doing it yourself or having someone else do it for you.
Speaking from personal experience when your BFF tells you to pop into Dischem and get yourself a DIY wax kit, don’t do it! Unless, of course, you want to be stuck in your bathroom for three hours trying to painstakingly remove hard, green wax from your girl bit with a pair of scissors. That was the end of my sex life for a week.
Then there’s the issue of going into a salon and having some nice lady called Margaret hand you a pair of disposable knickers and telling you to ‘relax’. Relax?! Look, I like girls, I have no issue sharing that I swing that way too, but having some woman I have never met in my life, spread me like some Playboy centrefold is not going to have me relaxed. She’s shy, there I said.
Although waxing brings on both these challenges, I am going to have to put it right up there in second place.
Laser
Ladies, we have a winner! Four to six sessions and your girl is good to go, for a very long time and your boy is guaranteed to love your new look and feel. Unless of course he is a fan of carpet-munching but you know how I feel, each to their own.
So those are my views, I've kept it clean.
Now it’s your turn. How do you like it down there?
For boys, I think this is an easier decision. You can either grow it, shave it or trim it - all options available in the comfort of your own home. I have my preferences when sleeping with someone - and sorry gentlemen - I’m going to go with shaven.
It’s not that my deepest desire is to be with some pre-pubescent, but rather that I’ve never been a big fan of hair stuck in my teeth especially the grainy, untreated kind.
And let’s be honest: just because the bulk of your shaft is hairless, a great blowjob includes a lot more of the anatomy than that. Just a thought, use it, don’t use it.
Now onto us girls. We have tons of options and I’d like to get into each one of them as I see it.
Bush in its most natural state
No! Really? Come on, we can’t possibly still be sporting bits the likes of those in bad seventies porn, could we? Really? Ladies, don’t do it. It’s wrong! It’s so Garden of Eden and I can’t possibly imagine the health risks involved. Just don’t!
To quote a good friend – ‘A lil never hurt anyone, a lot can lead to suffocation’
Trimming
This is a concept I have never understood. Why in heaven’s name would you want to trim your bush and have intentional stubble? We all know how annoying it is to kiss a boy with too much stubble for hours on end and feel like you were making out with A-grade sandpaper the next day. His member is not the enemy and I doubt he wants to remember you as the girl that chaffed him to tears. Don’t, just don’t, unless that’s his thing.
Shaving
Probably the most frequently used method of hair removal. The upside –you’re smooth as a baby’s bum and with good exfoliation, can stay that way. The downside - avoid blunt razors and please have the common sense not to nick yourself, because as funny as it would be for me to laugh at, it could be highly embarrassing and straight out painful for you.
Waxing
Three weeks of bliss, no worrying about what she looks like should you have that unexpected shag. But then you’re faced with doing it yourself or having someone else do it for you.
Speaking from personal experience when your BFF tells you to pop into Dischem and get yourself a DIY wax kit, don’t do it! Unless, of course, you want to be stuck in your bathroom for three hours trying to painstakingly remove hard, green wax from your girl bit with a pair of scissors. That was the end of my sex life for a week.
Then there’s the issue of going into a salon and having some nice lady called Margaret hand you a pair of disposable knickers and telling you to ‘relax’. Relax?! Look, I like girls, I have no issue sharing that I swing that way too, but having some woman I have never met in my life, spread me like some Playboy centrefold is not going to have me relaxed. She’s shy, there I said.
Although waxing brings on both these challenges, I am going to have to put it right up there in second place.
Laser
Ladies, we have a winner! Four to six sessions and your girl is good to go, for a very long time and your boy is guaranteed to love your new look and feel. Unless of course he is a fan of carpet-munching but you know how I feel, each to their own.
So those are my views, I've kept it clean.
Now it’s your turn. How do you like it down there?
