Publications
Partners
Striptease:
- Leave your body issues at the door – men just want you naked, not perfect.
- Get a song that you both like. It might be weird for him if you strip to The Backstreet Boys. Or Bjork. Unless he’s that kind of guy.
- Don't let your arms hang down your sides like sausages.
Dance slowly. You don't have to be a contortionist and you don't need hip-hop moves. You just have to sway your hips. Check out Salma Hayek’s dance in From Dusk Till Dawn.
- Don't do it when you're very drunk. You'll want to cry in the morning. Unless both of you were very drunk, of course.
- High heels are your friend.
- Don't wear tight trousers. It's impossible to wriggle out of them gracefully.
- Use the doorframe (great for silhouetting in the frame) a wall for sliding and writhing, a chair, a couch, a table for crawling. Furniture makes it easier if you don't have a stage or a pole.
- If you have long hair use it – just don't give yourself whiplash.
Pornography:
If you haven't tried it yet it's time you should. It can be lots of fun if you watch it together.
But a lot of women don't like traditional pornography. If it turns you off, don't feel bad about it – it's your business.
Do try pornographic fiction. Women are often mentally rather than visually stimulated.
Taking pictures and making films
- Don't let someone you don't trust video you. Unless you want the tape to get leaked, of course.
- Have warm lighting – daylight and a selection of lamps work best. Fluorescent lights are never kind.
- Take turns holding the camera.
- Dress sexily.
- There's no need to do the porn-style close-ups, that's why a tripod is always helpful.
Bondage and S&M
- Don't let a one-night stand, a vengeful ex or a very new boyfriend tie you up.
- Decide beforehand who'll be dominant and who'll be submissive. It won't help if you both try to dominate or, heaven forbid, want to be disciplined.
- Because a lot of bondage and S&M is centered around words like "no" and "please" and "stop" you have to decide on an unrelated safe word for when you want to cry "uncle."
- Never leave a tied-up person alone.
- Don’t engage in bondage and S&M when you're drunk or on drugs.
- Always make sure you don't cut of circulation – if an area goes cold or blue untie him!
The ass is always greener
A lot of men (and women) are interested in anal sex, but both of you should be comfortable with this. Don't do it if you feel pressurised. It's your butt after all.
- Always use a condom as STD's are more easily spread this way.
- Always go front to back.
- Always use lube.
- Keep communication channels open.
- Don't rush things.
- You might want to start with toys first (for both of you).
Role play
A handy tool if you want to share fantasies.
Don't panic if you want to laugh. Naked laughter might not be conducive to orgasms but it's good for intimacy.
You'll need costumes, scenarios and props. Miming is never sexy.
Toys
There are many, many sex toys on the market. Why not try them out with your partner.
These days you don't have to go into a sleazy male oriented sex shop (unless you want to!)
Games
Strip poker works well.
As does Truth or Dare.
And naughty dice.
Spin the bottle?
