Choose the right setting, wait for a moment when you're both relaxed, and when you've been sharing intimate details about your lives – such as previous relationships. Be sure to start by reassuring your partner that you value him, and you're interested in pursuing a relationship with him. These are some ways of doing that:
Besides having that crucial chat, it's equally important that you are both aware of the kinds of sexual risks that exist.
Safe or very low-risk sexual activities:
Sexual fantasies of any kind; discussing sex over the telephone or Internet; social ("dry") kissing; hugging; bathing together; sensuous feeding; body massage (including genital regions); watching sex movies or videos; reading erotic books or magazines; enjoying erotic entertainment at strip clubs; S&M games (without bruising or bleeding); using sex toys (provided they aren't shared after penetrating any orifice on either partner's
body); erotic wrestling with maximum body and genital contact;
manual stimulation, including mutual masturbation; "outercourse"
– ie, using the fissure between the thighs, breasts, buttocks or
under the armpits for penetration, rather than the vagina or anus.
Moderate-risk sexual activities:
Deep kissing (this is most unlikely to transmit HIV, but can
transmit herpes, hepatitis and other viral diseases such as
glandular fever or cytomegalovirus); fellatio (performing oral
sex on a man) if he's wearing a condom; cunnilingus (oral sex
performed on a woman); penetrative intercourse with the use of a
condom; anal sex with the use of a condom; digital anal sex with
the use of gloves.
High-risk sexual activities:
Penetrative vaginal or anal intercourse without a condom;
unprotected oral-anal contact; swallowing or accepting semen
vaginally; sharing blood (eg dirty needles for intravenous drugs,
body piercing and tattooing).
Have you recently had THE chat with your partner? Share your experience below.
