What is the best tool to ensure a healthy and on-going sexual relationship? Foreplay, toys, porn? Love and understanding? Compatibility? Perhaps.

All, some or none may be used – depending on the relationship and willingness to try “out there” methods such as porn or toys – but they are not the magic potion many seek.

Many believe that sex should be kept to the bedroom, certainly not on forums like w24.co.za where, skande, teens may happen on taboo subjects like oral sex or solid gold dildos and become raving nymphomaniacs (clearly their hormones weren’t already working).

The plain and simple truth is this: the truth will set you free. Knowledge is power and what better way to make your sex life great than to be informed?

And by this, I don’t only means reading forums such as this, or the many websites devoted to sexuality, but within the relationship itself.

And therein lies the point I’ve been getting to (excruciatingly slowly I might add): communication is the greatest sex tool in existence.

Reading the comments’ section of the various articles, it is clear that there are many couples having little or no sex at all. I would presume that in many cases, the old “Brace yourself Sheila” was the closest thing to foreplay some women experience.

Tell Bruce to start his car on a wintery morning and take it to 200kph immediately and he’ll laugh at you. How foolish that he doesn’t realise that you have to warm up a woman as well.

So whose fault is it that Bruce hasn’t delivered a mind-blowingly orgasmic warm-up to the real deal? His for not knowing, but also yours for not communicating.

A husky voice telling you how much she likes it when you touch her like that, how wet it makes her, is likely to get her man’s attention immediately - and even more importantly – get him to do the things that makes you world rock.

Because let’s face it (and I’ll admit it), guys can be a bit clueless at times.  

Treat guys like you might your vibrator (if you own one that is) – you can choose the setting that best suits your pleasure – it’s the same with guys, just tell them which setting to use.

And I don’t mean like a sergeant-major - “Yes there, no not there, faster, ok slower, now harder…” - but in that sexy voice that makes your partner feel like sex god because he’s pushing all the right buttons.

Men respond well to subtle, but clear commands. Our DNA is programmed to believe that  we always know what we’re doing (and why men don’t ask for directions).

But if we’re told in a non-threatening way, where our manliness is complemented rather than questioned, then we’ll be as pleased as punch to help you to get what you want.

And if you’d prefer to show us…. Well, that’s a conversation for another day

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