Why men rock
The Mother City can be a real bitch when it comes to the male species. When she's in a mood the only men she'll throw into the social mix are gay or married.
This sulk of hers can last a month or four but the result is always the same – before too long, single hetero women the city over are dusting off their vibrators and grumbling into their wine about leaving the city to find a cow farmer in the Eastern Cape.
Fortunately, this is not one of those times. For the past month or so, the MC has been dishing up gorgeous, available and totally lovely boys around every corner.
Needless to say, it is pleasing me greatly. You see, I like men. So much so that I'm not afraid to say it out loud even though it seems I might be in the minority.
At a recent dinner party for some of my girlfriends, I mentioned that I was planning to write a column on why I thought men rocked.
Lady Lou choked on her wine, a few others barely stifled their sniggers, and Miss America muttered a "Well, you're on your own there babe."
But I mean, really, apart from being generally simple creatures, what's not to like about men?
They can do shit I cant, like fix things and move big objects. They have broad shoulders to snuggle into, and hairy chests and facial hair.
The ones I like can generally cook well, fuck like Casanova and talk about interesting things for hours.
They're generally braver than I could ever hope to be and know how to braai veggie sausages. If you ever need a solution to an apparently complex social problem without the overanalyses that leads one to drug dependency, ask a man.
But mostly I am constantly amazed at what they're able to achieve with only their tongue and fingers.
Getting a woman off is no small feat. So why the general disdain for the brothers?
All you really need to do to answer that question is flip through men and womens lifestyle glossies and watch TV for about five minutes for your answer.
Bastions of stereotyping gender roles we are taught that all girls care about are primping and preening, losing weight, talking about clothes and finding The One.
All boys care about are sport, chasing pussy and drinking beer. Women are all emotionally needy and all men are basically jerks that need to be mothered and lured into a long-term commitment. Women are long-suffering; men are so incompetent they can't even operate a washing machine.
Women are nurturers; men are emotional automatons that need to be told what they're feeling.
To help us negotiate this sort of sexual and gender power play women have helpful guides like The Rules and The New Rules on shagging and bagging Mr Right. Men have David DeAngelo telling them how being 'cocky and smart' will get them laid in three easy moves.
If I bought into those concepts, I'd also think all men were arseholes. But then again, I'd also think all women were idiots.
Most of the reasons women will give for not liking men is that they're boorish, lying, game-playing, sex-crazed cheaters – all of them; every single one.
This is interesting to me, because I know more than a handful of men who think women are shallow, lying, game-playing manipulators – all of them; every single one.
For myself, I like to evaluate the men that come into my life much the way I do women – as people who are cool or not cool with idiosyncrasies that are compatible to my own or not.
It's a wild, crazy idea – this concept that were all just people who'd like a little respect and honesty – but I think its catching on.
Just as an aside, the only dating advice that has ever been popularised in the media that holds any water in my opinion was the gem in He Just Not That Into You: If a guy's into you you'll know about it.
There are no greys in that department. As I said, men are generally simple creatures.
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Do you think that men rock? If you agree or disagree with Dorothy Black, let us know and tell us why in the box below…