Would you use gene editing to improve your sex life?

Future of Sex, a sort of online ‘think tank’ of what the future holds for humans and how they get naked with each other, recently published a piece about how gene editing could be used to influence the future sex lives of prospective humans. Think: tweaking for bigger penises or boobs. 

Now, I’ve watched enough TV to know that you don’t go into a dark basement when there’s a chainsaw-wielding maniac in the house, you don’t defibrillate an ancient Martian bacterium back to life, and you don’t try to ‘correct’ a little DNA without a host of unimaginable consequences. 

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Maybe the risks are well worth it if your baba is likely to be born with a terrible life-ending disease or without arms. 

But apart from that, imma stop science right there and say a big ‘Hell No’ for giving sexually issued, homophobic, and problematic parents the right to tinker with their offspring’s breast size or sexual orientation. 

However. 

As a mental exercise on the retrospective pleasure possibilities for my own body – if I could go back as my adult self and make a few suggestions – I’m tickled by the idea. 

For starters, I would order a penis to compliment my vagina; maybe something that could erect itself into a lush member, when I wanted it to, from my clitoris. 

I would also like breasts that can change size: a fuller option for that LBD and for jogging a delicate A-cup. I might even choose ‘man nipple switcheroo’ option to not frighten Instagram and Facebook users with maddening woman nipples. 

And I’d totally amp up my neural pathways for orgasms that feel like an hour-long rush. 

Look, my choices are tame here. But given enough time, I’m sure I’d end up with physical capacities that would rival any Hentai octo-porn. 

Frankly, who wouldn’t?

With the consequence-free, fantasy option to be anything and to experience any kind of pleasure, what would you choose?

But there it is, isn’t it? The nub of this little ‘what if’ exercise about gene-editing the unborn for sex: choice. 

If you want to control a future life that isn’t even a reality yet, I’d suggest calling up a mental health professional before you dial that geneticist’s number.

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I know toying with these ideas and the ethical quandaries that arise alongside the possible pay-offs may seem a little OTT when we some of us can’t even get a guy to wear a condom (Hey! Idea: Vagina that clamps shut with full body armour engineered from Armadillo plating!), but the future is here already. 

Ten years ago, no one in the mainstream was talking about human rights for sex robots and now here we are.

At least gene editing for sex is still some way off. And until the white coats find a way to send adults back in time to make those changes for themselves, I hope it stays that way.