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"My girlfriend is 36 years older than me" - readers ask Jade

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Dear Jade, I experience a lot of pain when I’m about to have penetrative sex, even though I feel that I’m well lubricated. Is it a matter of the size of my man’s penis, or could there be a problem down there? I’d also like to know what the best sex positions are for someone with a back problem.

Jade: Not to take away from the size of your man’s penis, but cases where the size of the penis and the vagina are incompatible are few and far between. This issue can usually be resolved by using a lubricant. However, because you say you feel well lubricated, there are a few possibilities behind your feeling of pain.

One is vaginismus, which is an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles because of psychological reasons. These can include a history of sexual abuse or even a subconscious fear of sex. Therapy and hypnotherapy are popular treatments for this.

Another reason could be tears on the entrance of the vagina, or an infection of the vulva or vagina, which may not necessarily present with other symptoms. These can be treated with antibiotics or steroid creams. See a gynaecologist for a thorough examination to treat your condition accordingly.

For your backache, use any position that doesn’t require the active use of your back. Try the missionary position with a pillow under the small of your back for support.

Dear Jade, I am 52 years old and I struggle to get an erection. I have been to the doctor to do a health check and results show that I don’t suffer from diabetes, my testosterone levels are fine and I don’t have any prostate problems. What can I do?

Jade: Your inability to get an erection even though you are aroused could be because there is blood vessel or nerve damage in your penis. Ask a urologist to check for this and they will be able to prescribe a treatment.

Dear Jade, I’m 30 years old and my girlfriend is 66. Is it wise to have an intimate relationship with this lonely spinster? And yes, we enjoy each other.

Jade: As long as your girlfriend is open to it, I see no reason you shouldn’t have intercourse with your lady

Do you have a question for Jade?

SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email us at trending@citypress.co.za. SMSes cost R1.50. Please include your name and province

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