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Is this man worth it?

Question
I have been single for almost 10 years. A year ago I met the most amazing man, perfect in most aspects.

I have no doubt that he loves me - he took me abroad to meet his family - but I only see him weekends when I go to his place.

He lives a distance from me, has two kids still living with him while mine are working and mobile already.

He has a beautiful large home and even with the kids, we have lots of privacy. My place is tiny and he also lives close to my work hence I go to him.

I am just concerned as to how long to do this. It’s hard living in two homes. I think sometimes he just does not get it. For his youngest child’s birthday, he took the kids and the ex for dinner.

I was livid, they not babies - but teenagers - and only after I threatened to end the relationship and his family also told him it was odd, did he get it. He can’t see wrong in anyone, that’s one of the things I love about him. I just don’t know what to do.

Everyone who sees us together says they can see he adores me. How long do I put up with this till I say no more? Please Help.

*Lyn

Mrs. Miller answers:
Dear Lyn,

Perhaps you haven't explained the situation clearly, but I really can't see what your problem is.

By all accounts this man is kind, generous, a good father and in love with you.

In the year that you've been together (which really isn't long at all) he has taken you abroad, introduced you to his family, trusted you with his children, let you into his home and excused your childish ultimatum after you probably ruined his child's birthday party.

There is nothing wrong with divorced parents coming together for a child's special occasion. In fact, it is mature and caring of both of them to bury their differences for a while and focus on the child. You should probably have been invited too, but perhaps I can understand why he didn't. He probably knew you'd react like the wicked stepmother or the jealous girlfriend.

Seeing him only over weekends is a bit odd though. Have you spoken to him about it yet? I'm guessing you want to move in with him? Are you ready? It doesn't sound as if you even like his children. It sounds as if you like his big house and you're tired of the hassle to go and visit.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding your letter, but you sound like a bit of a brat. If I have misunderstood you, please write again so that we can sort this out. Otherwise I'd suggest taking a long hard look at yourself and try to appreciate your man a bit more.
 
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