There's no formula, no scores to keep and no set rules on how to go about giving (and getting) this wonderful experience. As long as you're focused on putting gentle, loving energy into your fingertips, you can't go wrong.
What you need:
The five basic guidelines of tantric massage:
1. Be present – let go of expectations of what's to come or recollections of the past. Focus on the immediate experience.
2. Maintain full-hand contact whenever possible, allowing your palms, fingers and thumbs to outline the contours of your partner's body.
3. Maintain a continuous flow – movements should blend together, each one enhancing the preceding movement and preparing for the next one.
4. Maintain continual contact with your partner. Interrupting the flow of touch, or suddenly changing the rhythm of your movements, can break the magic instantly.
5 Encourage your partner to keep his eyes closed and to breathe deeply and evenly while you massage him.
Massage techniques:
It's essential that the techniques you use are your own personal expressions. You can start by massaging any part of the body: choose the place where you feel most comfortable and keep working it. It's a good idea to start with the neck and work your way down, or begin with the feet and work upwards. (Don't forget the soles of the feet which are extraordinarily sensitive to touch!) Explore your partner's body slowly, lovingly and sensually.
With long strokes, apply enough oil to your partner's skin so that your hands can move smoothly.
Neck:
If your partner has long hair, move it to the side to protect it from the oil and prevent it from obstructing contact. Position yourself at the head, which should be cradled in one of your hands while you massage along the lymph channels of one side of the neck, under the ear, moving down towards the chest and shoulders. Then turn the head the other way and repeat the motions on the other side. Place your fingers under the neck at the base of the skull, applying firm, but gentle movements towards the shoulder-blades and then back to the base of the skull. Ensure your movements are slow, lingering and deeply loving.
Arms:
Upper arm
Start from the shoulders, applying firm strokes towards the heart, followed by light strokes away from it. Your movements should gently warm and caress the flesh.
Forearms
Bend the elbows and continue applying gentle strokes towards the heart.
Hands:
Stroke your fingers towards the heart, and stretch the palms of your partners hands. Work each finger separately, proceeding to the wrist. End the arm massage with long, firm strokes from the wrist towards the shoulders.
Legs:
Work along the hip joints using deep, circular strokes. Continue along the sides and tops of the thighs using equally deep, kneading motions towards the heart. For the inner thighs, use a wringing, up-and-down movement, progressing to the kneecaps. Here you should use your thumbs in a semi-circular motion, carrying on to the lower legs with rolling strokes on the side of the shin bones. Don't apply pressure to these bones, though, since this can be painful. Use your fingertips around the ankles, then your palms on the balls of the feet, as if rolling them between your hands. Remember always to work towards the heart.
To complete the leg massage, stroke with long, firm motions from the ankles back to the hips, returning each movement with a low, light stroke.
Abdomen:
Use a clockwise motion on your abdomen. Under each side of the rib cage, massage away from the heart with short, semi-circular movements. Work each side of the waist with an up and down motion. Stroke from the back upwards toward the abdomen at the waist, using gentle, kneading motions.
Back of legs:
Keeping the pressure strokes upwards, towards the heart, massage the thighs. Begin on the outsides, near the buttocks. Apply rhythmic strokes using both hands, one after another. Move down the thighs to the backs of the knees using upward strokes, then move to the lower legs, starting at the calves and progressing to the ankles and shins. Finally use long strokes up towards the buttocks and soft, persistent movements down the ankles.
Back:
Spend some time on the back, which is a crucial massage area.
Upper back:
Draw hearts with the flats of your fingers, your right hand on the right side of the spine and your left hand on its left side. Start at the neck moving downwards.
Lower back:
Massage the lower back in the same way and move to the lower part of the body using deep, loving strokes.
When it's over, pour a glass of bubbly for each of you, snuggle up and savour the moment.
