Publications
Partners
This is chapter 21 of the ongoing Violet Online series.
‘Hey Luce, how ya doing’, I was so excited to hear her voice.
‘Oh my god, my neck, I've hurt it again, landed up in hospital…’
When she said she wouldn't tell me how, I knew immediately.
BLOW JOB!
It’s easy when you’re in your twenties to contort your head in a million different directions. In your forties, it’s just bloody dangerous.
I asked her if she’d finished giving head before rushing off to Emergency.
‘Of course’, she said. The look on her husband’s face had been one of ecstasy - there was no way she was going to stop half way.
I suggested that next time she didn't look at his face while sucking his cock.
I gave her A set of Rules.
- Put a cushion under your knees.
- Keep your back straight.
- Shoulders down.
- Neck upright.
- Eyes looking ahead.
And do not, under any circumstances, make any sharp movements to the left or the right with your neck.
We both laughed. It’s very hard, in the heat of the moment, to reach out for a cushion, or to worry about your posture.
And it’s almost impossible not to move your neck.
Unless you do Yoga where you learn to never move your neck NO MATTER WHAT. In fact you learn tons of things at Yoga, which are all good for your sex life.
Open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out during orgasm. Even if you look ridiculous, it extends your orgasm. Try it, just make sure he’s taking you from behind and cannot see your face!
Squeeze your ass muscles. Apart from him loving the feeling, it also strengthens your orgasm, as well as making your butt look pretty damn good.
Sadly, you have to do these things before your partner hurts his neck, puts out his back, bites his tongue, or has a heart attack.
I told Lucy about my last sexual exploit.
Claude. Sixty. A very energetic lover.
The last time we’d been together, the sex was fantastic. He knew exactly how to turn me on, and I was moaning softly, about to cum, when suddenly…
He stopped.
And clutched his chest. Dramatically.
It’s every woman’s nightmare.
I stopped my moaning very quickly when he started his.
My thoughts were not ‘Oh my God he’s having a heart attack, I need to call an ambulance, help, I don’t want him to die’.
My thoughts were ‘Oh my God he’s going to die on top of me, I’m never going to get out, who will find me, how will I explain this, Oh my God, please, please, he cannot die…
He didn't have a heart attack. But he’d had too much red wine which set off his angina.
My friend Luce gave me A set of Rules for Dating Older Men.
- Time is of the Essence. Get down to business ASAP.
- Don’t over exert him.
- Always be on top.
- Have his Next of Kin contact details handy at all times.
- Remain semi clothed for a quick getaway, just in case of collapse.
- And whatever you do…
DO NOT MOVE YOUR NECK.
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