Rihanna and Britney blah blah

This might make me sound very old and crotchety (see, that’s how one slips in the word “crotch” while still acting high and mighty) but seriously, will Rihanna ever release a song again that’s NOT about sex?

Am I the only one who’s tired of her belting out about how she wants her hair pulled and her bottom spanked and how she can go on all night? We get it angeltits, you’re hot and stuff.

Thing is, RiRi is also talented and her songs are super catchy which leaves us with the somewhat uncomfortable situation where kids in the Woolies queue are singing:

“Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me”

But hey, I’m hardly the morality police.

I am going to stick my hand up and say that if you want to use your body as a commodity and sex as a selling feature than at least make it sexy. This performance was wooden and mechanical and self-conscious and everything being sexy isn’t supposed to be.



And the fact that poor Britters – who is still her father’s slave – get’s wheeled out by daddy every now and again to do some lacklustre poledancing is just siff man.

But maybe it’s just us. What do you think?

P.S. Beyonce? You’re up next.