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How to spot a mean girl

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My mean girl radar is very poor. This kind of interchange is very common for me.

“I asked Ruth to join us later, if that’s okay,” I’ll tell Lili over Wednesday drinks.

“But why?” Lil will complain, crossly drowning her gin in tonic. “She’s just going to make fun of the way you’re dressed, and then make veiled comments about you being a bad mother ‘cos you’re not at home this evening.

"Then you’ll go all weird and performing monkey-like, trying to get her to like you... and I’ve got to sit and watch all of this, without smacking either of you. Way to ruin our chilled drinks, dude.”

“Oh she’s not that bad, she’s just insecure,” I’ll reply, unconvincingly. “I don’t think she means to be bitchy, I think she’s just... well, blunt. And I probably AM a bad mother. Oh God, do you think I’m a bad mother?”

“See? SEE?” Lili will shriek, making the quiet guy at the end of the bar spill a little of his beer in fright. “Just thinking about her is spazzing you out! She’s TOXIC.”

Lili’s right.

Life is too short for toxic acquaintances, let alone friends.
 

So, as we head into the festive season – with all its parties and stresses – let’s recap Women24’s top 4 ‘how to spot a mean girl’ red flags:

•    The Pitying Preface, like starting her sentences with things like “Shame Sam...”

•    The ‘For Your Own Good’ Gossip: “You know, other girls might say you eat like a greedy pig, but I know how stressed you’ve been lately.”

•    The Inverted Compliment like, “Gosh, you’re so lucky to have such a long-suffering husband.”

•    Then of course, there’s the Double Whammy: “Ha, you know... if I drank as much beer as you do, I’d be twice as fat as you’ve gotten.”

Yup. You're familiar with the people in these examples, aren't you? (You might even recognise yourself in which case: Chick! Come back from the Dark Side!)

The faster we learn how to avoid mean girls, the happier we will all instantly feel. I suspect it really may be this easy.

I, personally, am going to redouble my efforts in this regard... because an angry Lili is a scary Lili. Just ask that guy at the bar.

But wait, tell us... Have we missed a mean girl red flag? Go on, share below. The world of nice women needs you.
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