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‘I almost lost my best friend’

I have chimed over Facebook statuses between two friends. A disagreement they chose to use to resolve or worsen with Facebook as their platform.

The friendship world is very tricky; in fact we humans are just tricky.

We fail to realise or admit that no matter what we go through in life we are all threaded intimately into each other lives. From family to friends, from social circles to work colleagues.

 Reading their Facebook statuses made me look more closely at my life. Somehow witnessing something like this makes one admit truth’s to yourself that you probably would be left unexpressed. So maybe by me expressing will help them resolve their issues outside the social network realm.

I came very close to losing my best friend. We were both wrong, but I definitely tipped the scale more. Shameful as it is to admit my pride and ego refused to accept that I was in the wrong.

Instead of saying “you are right and I am wrong” or “I’m sorry” which was just too difficult for me....
 
I chose to push back and injure my friendship which resulted in us not speaking for more than a year.

The ghost of this friendship followed me everywhere, kept me awake at night, I dissected what I had done, and reached out several times to mend this error of mine.

The last living weeks of my mother’s life in 2011, which was the worst time of my life, I reached out to my best friend for life, to the only person who understood me, who knows me better than I know myself.

In those minutes I realised that pride, ego and failure to realise ones mistake leaves us forever questioning why didn’t I just admit I was wrong, how could I have let my fallible qualities cloud me so bad, I risked a genuine friendship, why didn’t I speak up sooner.

Maybe we needed this rupture to bring us to the point where we are right now, so much stronger in this relationship.

Maybe the pain of the separation made us value our friendship more. Maybe this is the side effect of the rupture. Whatever the diagnosis, we should never allow stupid disagreements to burn a bridge. It’s not worth it.

Us human beings, we tend to treat each other very badly. We never forget a mistake, we tend to ignore 10 good things a person has done and hate them for the one bad thing they did.

We are prone to make mistakes in our lives. We learn from those mistakes and we should be thankful to the person who makes us realise it?

So to my friends who are behaving in a manner that will make them look back one day and say, why did we waste all that time on this disagreement, we should have resolved it there and let it be! It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, your friendship should be what’s important. Don’t lose it over something insignificant.

My shortcomings et al has definitely made me a better person today?

Don’t allow let a dark spot appear on ones record as human being?

"In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything. But if you know how you feel and so clearly know what you need to say, I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." - Taylor Swift

Check out Saffiya's blog or follow her on Twitter.

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