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Learn a new language

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Long before languages and alphabets evolved, humans relied on body signals to work out whether someone as a friend or foe... or potential lover. And very little has changed: a mere 7% of the impression we make on people is of the words we use; 38% stems from our tone, speed and inflection and a hefty 55% depends on our body language.

"Body language is critical in all inter-relations," says SA body language expert, Richard Mulvey. "Your body language shows exactly what you are thinking while you're thinking it."

And the good news is that women are better at reading body language than men. "Women are far more instinctive and intuitive when it comes to reading body signals," says Richard. "It's probably why they are better at relationships."

What can I learn from someone's body signals?
First of all you've got to remember body "language" comes from a number of gestures: Rubbing a nose could just be an itch, but rubbing a nose while avoiding eye contact, could be a signal that someone is telling a lie. Here's how to tell...

1. Is he flirting with me?
The classic romantic meeting always begins with eyes meeting across a crowded room – and that's exactly how it happens.

Romantic gazes are longer, more meaningful and sometimes roam lower than any other gaze. "A man that has set his eyes on you is also likely to preen" says Richard. He may straighten his tie or sweep his hands back over his hair, and he is sure to stand tall to show off his masculinity.

In the meantime you are probably throwing him a few meaningful looks yourself, and perhaps crossing your legs alluringly. Take a look at his feet, if they're in your direction he's yours – we tend to subconsciously point our hands and feet at those we are interested in.

The final stage is touch. He may brush your arm to make a point or cross legs and fleetingly touch your legs. From then on his signals should be pretty clear.

2. Is my friend lying to me?
Have you ever seen a child lie? Less crafty than us adults, they will often cover their mouths with their hands as if to push the lie back to where it came from.

When we are older, that simple gesture evolves into rubbing our nose or brushing our hair back with our hands. Liars will also avoid eye contact or rub their eyes. If all this is going on, your friend could be telling you a fib.

3. Am I impressing my job interviewer or boss?
If someone is leaning towards you it's a very good sign they are interested in what you have to say. If they lean back, it's time to lift your game – they've lost interest.

But don't worry about the person who leans back in their chair with their hands behind their head. They're telling you they are most important person in the room – you can bet they don't this when they are in a room with their boss.

While we're on the subject, be careful that you don't fold your arms: it's a sure sign you are feeling defensive and uncomfortable (you are literally trying to protect your body).

Nice to know:

  • When someone has had enough of listening to you, they often rub their ear lobes (something president Thabo Mbeki does). They really want to cover their ears but can't.

  • When they think you are lying they may rub their own mouth; they really want to cover yours but can't do it politely.

  • And when they no longer want to see you they may rub their eyes, or take off their glasses and rub their eyes.

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