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I remember the time I went for a swim during the December holidays. I was almost 13 and just about to enter grade 7. After my swim I went to the bathroom, only to discover (to my horror) that I have, indeed, started my period. The incident had occurred.
I immediately started sobbing. I went up to my mom and said: “I didn’t intend for this to happen. Why did this happen now already?” I was, even at that age, ashamed of my period. Of the blood.
Following this, I had horrible nightmares of people at school “discovering” that I had started my period. On my first day at school - this is now after getting my first period – I felt like I was wearing a ginormous diaper.
I also remember, shortly after the incident, I went on a school camp for two or three days to Melkbosstrand. One evening, I saw a girl on her way to the ablutions facilities. She dropped an unused tampon still in its wrapper. It was just lying there, for everyone to see.
I was so mortified at the sight of this.
The boys started playing with it, making jokes and asking all the girls who this thing belonged to, while all the girls denounced all and any ownership or association. Not to this thing, no.
A “sanitary item” has always, ever since I can remember been a thing of shame. For many girls and women, buying tampons and pads, is an issue. They are shy to do so, because, well, people around us act like it’s something shameful. Case in point, just the other day one of my male friends asked me: “Aren’t you ever shy to buy tampons?”
In my 30s?! Should I be...friend?
But then, can I blame him for asking this?
I think I was shy to buy sanitary products at some point in my life – I remember it almost felt like buying condoms. Butterflies in your stomach, all nervous, worried about what others might think. Blood at this age? Sies!
Luckily for me, the experience of buying tampons now goes a little something like this (in my mind anyways)...
Buying tampons or pads from a man, can actually make me so very happy. Because, most often, I can see that they are uncomfortable. Embarrassed by this situation. Yet, the mere fact that I am still thinking about it, that I have to prove my tampon-buying worth in some sense, should give me some indication that, no, I am still not one with my period. If there even is such a thing.
Last week, student Rupi Kaur posted a pic on Instagram. This pic was shortly removed for not adhering to their Community Guidelines. Now the main IG rules are:
Post your own photos and videos.
Keep your clothes on.
Be respectful.
Don't spam.
So which rule was Rupi breaking?
It had to be that she was not being respectful. It had to be, since she definitely wasn’t spamming or promoting naked pics.
Rupi also posted the above pic to Facebook saying she shared this image in an effort to demystify and destigmatise the female body. Her FB status: "will not apologize for not feeding the ego and pride of misogynist society that will have my body in an underwear but not be okay with a small leak. when your pages are filled with countless photos/accounts where women (so many who are underage) are objectified. pornified. and treated less than human. thank you." Read the rest of her status here.
A couple of years ago, controversial, in-your-face online magazine Vice showed a photo series, shot by Emma Arvida Bystrom, titled “There will be blood”. This reportage showed women in everyday situations, going to the toilet, doing exercise and having a cup of Joe – the only difference was that their undies were blood stained, they were seen with menstrual blood running down one leg or holding a tampon.
Image: Emma Arvida Bystrom
To me, the artist really showed how natural periods are and how they complicate life for women at times. We’ve all had blood stained panties, and yes, we are usually ashamed of it when it happens.
This is something we constantly have to think about no matter whether we have it, hope to get it or wish that we will never have one again. It’s an omnipresent state that are still viewed as dirty, shameful and something that should be hidden – from sight and conversations.
I’ll be honest, I hate getting my period and I’m sure so do most women. I really do not relate to women who say: “My period, my essence” and shit like that.
Yet, the fact that Instagram removed this woman’s picture because they viewed it as obscene or disrespectful, is a sign that periods are still viewed as fundamentally, well, siff.
Last year, the double standard Instagram set by censoring female public hair and okaying bare-chested men and deleting pics posted of bare female breasts by the females who owned those breasts, already spoke volumes.
Getting your period is a normal process, one which should not make women and girls feel shunned or ashamed. I’m definitely not saying that everyone should be heading to social media to share their period panties. Heaven forbid.
But by removing this non-offensive picture, Instagram reaffirmed that certain processes should exist only in the shadows. Not to be spoken about in public. By censoring, women are told to exist, but only partially, on the margins or underground.
Let us know what you think.
