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Now, I understand why people like this song and video. It is a great song, and it does address an issue that a lot of people are familiar with: mixed messages from girls. I also understand why people don't like this song and video. It is reinforcing a certain dangerous line of thinking, and it does have a message that can be interpreted as a defense for rape.
Unfortunately, I've seen discussion about this song spiral down into the inevitable and mad "this song is evil these musicians are evil these feminazis are evil everyone's evil!" Unnecessary. I think we can discuss this without demonizing each other.
First of all, I do understand that this song has a perfectly innocent interpretation. Sometimes, girls send confusing messages to guys, and it frustrates them.
The girls in the video are strutting around mostly naked, confident and sexy, much like a lot of girls in clubs. The guys aren't sexually harassing or forcing themselves on the girls, they're just talking, amused, about the mixed messages they're receiving.
The girls don't look upset or repressed, they look like they're having a blast doing their own thing and being sexy while they do it. For a guy who respects women as people, and who doesn't feel that sexual harassment or rape is OK, this video isn't encouraging either. It's also a pretty hot video if you like boobs.
Let's talk about the less than innocent interpretation.
"I know you want it" is a dangerous line. It fires off warning bells, because it's a phrase that has historically been used time and time again to justify sexual harassment and, worse, rape.
She doesn't always want it. Even if she does want it, that's not permission for you to help yourself. I think most men understand this, but many men, our own peers, don't, and that's a big problem in modern society.
Some of the imagery in the song is problematic as well. For example, the girl with the stop sign, pouting away, seems very cute, but it does carry a suggestion that "stop" doesn't mean stop, and that the little sign can be ignored. This is not only a disturbing message, it is actively a dangerous one. Hear me out.
The assumption that a woman wants to have sex is dangerous. It does lead to sexual harassment. It does lead to rape. "But she was wearing a short skirt" and similar are classic lines used by rapists and rape apologists. When a girl says no, even if she doesn't mean it, you take it seriously. Let's just be clear on that.
I know there are some knee-jerk reactions coming my way, so I've answered some of them.
"But the song doesn't necessarily say it's ok to force yourself on a girl! The song doesn't necessarily preach rape!"
Yes. I know. Enjoying the song doesn't make you a rape apologist, and having an innocent interpretation for the song doesn't make you a rape apologist either. However, there are some undeniable blurred lines (ha) in the message of the song, so let's all just be clear on agreeing that "I know you want it" is not an excuse to give it without permission. Can we do that?
"But have you seen what some girls are wearing? Look at how she's acting. Are you saying she doesn't want sex?"
I am saying she doesn't necessarily want sex. What some people don't seem to understand is, the motive behind sexual and sexy behavior in a girl is not always desire for sex.
It seems ridiculous, I know, but I have a theory about this. When young, girls, especially those who grow up in religious households, are told from every angle to cover up and be modest, and that they should essentially be ashamed of being sexy because it's Bad. Girls already tend to have body issues during their developing years that stay with them for life, and this doesn't help matters.
This is one of the many reasons why expressing her sexuality and sexiness can be empowering for a girl, an act of defiance and self expression. A lot of girls simply enjoy being sexy in public, for no other reason than it makes her feel good. This isn't always the case, I know. Sometimes girls who are sexy and act sexy and dress sexy are looking for sex. However, because it's a worse thing to assume a girl wants sex when she doesn't than it is to assume a girl doesn't want sex when she does, I appeal to good guys: Don't assume she wants it, and don't encourage the thinking that leads to assuming she wants it.
"But some girls do pretend they don't want sex when actually they do. You can't deny this."
I don't. There are certainly girls out there who'll act angelic but really want a shag. I blame this on repressed female sexuality. Girls are encouraged to be sexy, yes, but they're discouraged to be sexual. It's socially acceptable to toss words like slut and whore at any girl who enjoys sex, to look down on them and to sneer, and to call them "broken locks" and the like, so girls have to repress their own desires if they want to be respected. Result: Mixed messages that confuse men and generally upset everyone. Well done, society.
Still, because raping or sexually harassing a girl who doesn't want you is infinitely worse that not giving sex to a girl who does, I don't think this is an excuse to assume any girl who acts coy while being sexy at the same time wants you, and I don't think girls who do want to go home with a guy but don't have the guts to express it properly deserve sex.
Honestly guys, if you want girls to be more honest with you when they want sex, how about you kick the word 'slut' out of your vocabulary? Stop making it obvious that you think it's bad to want sex and maybe girls will stop pretending to you that they don't want sex. It's not rocket science.
"But you're over thinking this! You should just have fun!"
Oh fuck off. If art should never be analysed, if entertainment should never be thought about, if I should never engage intellectually with the ton of garbage that is dumped on my head on a daily basis, then just shoot me now.
When I think about the song or game or movie or book I like, and discuss it with my peers, I am having fun, and I don't intend to limit my fun just because your idea of a good time is to gaze, semi-opened mouthed, drooling slightly, at anything shiny without ever troubling your brain by using it. Art is meant to be thought about, and if your reaction to art is to shut your brain down, you're doing it wrong.
"Well the song wanted to cause a controversy and it's clearly succeeded. Well done on spreading it around."
True, the song could easily be a publicity stunt, and if it is, it worked. This doesn't bother me. The song's popularity doesn't bother me. Only refusal to discuss or think about the song bothers me.
"But the song does objectify women, just like all of society."
Yeah, it does. I have conflicting feelings about the problem that is objectified women. I do think women are over-objectified in society, but I also don't think celebrating beauty is necessarily inherently bad.
At the end of the day, I think there's a problem in society where female sexuality is repressed while female sexiness is celebrated, and male sexuality is celebrated while male sexiness is repressed. I think the reaction to this is often to demonize male sexuality and try to restrict the celebration of female sexiness. I'm not sure these are really solutions. Instead, I prefer to encourage female sexuality and celebrate male sexiness. And on that note, I'll leave you with this brilliant parody (and my new favourite version) of "Blurred Lines".
For more posts from Discordian Kitty follow her blog
Unfortunately, I've seen discussion about this song spiral down into the inevitable and mad "this song is evil these musicians are evil these feminazis are evil everyone's evil!" Unnecessary. I think we can discuss this without demonizing each other.
First of all, I do understand that this song has a perfectly innocent interpretation. Sometimes, girls send confusing messages to guys, and it frustrates them.
The girls in the video are strutting around mostly naked, confident and sexy, much like a lot of girls in clubs. The guys aren't sexually harassing or forcing themselves on the girls, they're just talking, amused, about the mixed messages they're receiving.
The girls don't look upset or repressed, they look like they're having a blast doing their own thing and being sexy while they do it. For a guy who respects women as people, and who doesn't feel that sexual harassment or rape is OK, this video isn't encouraging either. It's also a pretty hot video if you like boobs.
Let's talk about the less than innocent interpretation.
"I know you want it" is a dangerous line. It fires off warning bells, because it's a phrase that has historically been used time and time again to justify sexual harassment and, worse, rape.
She doesn't always want it. Even if she does want it, that's not permission for you to help yourself. I think most men understand this, but many men, our own peers, don't, and that's a big problem in modern society.
Some of the imagery in the song is problematic as well. For example, the girl with the stop sign, pouting away, seems very cute, but it does carry a suggestion that "stop" doesn't mean stop, and that the little sign can be ignored. This is not only a disturbing message, it is actively a dangerous one. Hear me out.
The assumption that a woman wants to have sex is dangerous. It does lead to sexual harassment. It does lead to rape. "But she was wearing a short skirt" and similar are classic lines used by rapists and rape apologists. When a girl says no, even if she doesn't mean it, you take it seriously. Let's just be clear on that.
I know there are some knee-jerk reactions coming my way, so I've answered some of them.
"But the song doesn't necessarily say it's ok to force yourself on a girl! The song doesn't necessarily preach rape!"
Yes. I know. Enjoying the song doesn't make you a rape apologist, and having an innocent interpretation for the song doesn't make you a rape apologist either. However, there are some undeniable blurred lines (ha) in the message of the song, so let's all just be clear on agreeing that "I know you want it" is not an excuse to give it without permission. Can we do that?
"But have you seen what some girls are wearing? Look at how she's acting. Are you saying she doesn't want sex?"
I am saying she doesn't necessarily want sex. What some people don't seem to understand is, the motive behind sexual and sexy behavior in a girl is not always desire for sex.
It seems ridiculous, I know, but I have a theory about this. When young, girls, especially those who grow up in religious households, are told from every angle to cover up and be modest, and that they should essentially be ashamed of being sexy because it's Bad. Girls already tend to have body issues during their developing years that stay with them for life, and this doesn't help matters.
This is one of the many reasons why expressing her sexuality and sexiness can be empowering for a girl, an act of defiance and self expression. A lot of girls simply enjoy being sexy in public, for no other reason than it makes her feel good. This isn't always the case, I know. Sometimes girls who are sexy and act sexy and dress sexy are looking for sex. However, because it's a worse thing to assume a girl wants sex when she doesn't than it is to assume a girl doesn't want sex when she does, I appeal to good guys: Don't assume she wants it, and don't encourage the thinking that leads to assuming she wants it.
"But some girls do pretend they don't want sex when actually they do. You can't deny this."
I don't. There are certainly girls out there who'll act angelic but really want a shag. I blame this on repressed female sexuality. Girls are encouraged to be sexy, yes, but they're discouraged to be sexual. It's socially acceptable to toss words like slut and whore at any girl who enjoys sex, to look down on them and to sneer, and to call them "broken locks" and the like, so girls have to repress their own desires if they want to be respected. Result: Mixed messages that confuse men and generally upset everyone. Well done, society.
Still, because raping or sexually harassing a girl who doesn't want you is infinitely worse that not giving sex to a girl who does, I don't think this is an excuse to assume any girl who acts coy while being sexy at the same time wants you, and I don't think girls who do want to go home with a guy but don't have the guts to express it properly deserve sex.
Honestly guys, if you want girls to be more honest with you when they want sex, how about you kick the word 'slut' out of your vocabulary? Stop making it obvious that you think it's bad to want sex and maybe girls will stop pretending to you that they don't want sex. It's not rocket science.
"But you're over thinking this! You should just have fun!"
Oh fuck off. If art should never be analysed, if entertainment should never be thought about, if I should never engage intellectually with the ton of garbage that is dumped on my head on a daily basis, then just shoot me now.
When I think about the song or game or movie or book I like, and discuss it with my peers, I am having fun, and I don't intend to limit my fun just because your idea of a good time is to gaze, semi-opened mouthed, drooling slightly, at anything shiny without ever troubling your brain by using it. Art is meant to be thought about, and if your reaction to art is to shut your brain down, you're doing it wrong.
"Well the song wanted to cause a controversy and it's clearly succeeded. Well done on spreading it around."
True, the song could easily be a publicity stunt, and if it is, it worked. This doesn't bother me. The song's popularity doesn't bother me. Only refusal to discuss or think about the song bothers me.
"But the song does objectify women, just like all of society."
Yeah, it does. I have conflicting feelings about the problem that is objectified women. I do think women are over-objectified in society, but I also don't think celebrating beauty is necessarily inherently bad.
At the end of the day, I think there's a problem in society where female sexuality is repressed while female sexiness is celebrated, and male sexuality is celebrated while male sexiness is repressed. I think the reaction to this is often to demonize male sexuality and try to restrict the celebration of female sexiness. I'm not sure these are really solutions. Instead, I prefer to encourage female sexuality and celebrate male sexiness. And on that note, I'll leave you with this brilliant parody (and my new favourite version) of "Blurred Lines".
For more posts from Discordian Kitty follow her blog
