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I am very interested to notice how much better the simple functionings of my body have become in the last month. The change in the fuel I am providing it with has had some interesting side effects – not all expected.
I sleep less, but so much better. This means I have gained maybe two hours a day; and the hours I have are more productive. I no longer wake up tired and flat. I am not quite the Sealy Posturepedic girl (remember her and her annoying morning smile, plastered with make up?) but I no longer groan when I wake up and despair about having to get up.
My skin looks better too. I haven’t noticed this but more than one of my friends has. They say I just glow, or something. My tummy is happy. I have IBS but have not had a bout for the last month. I pee way too much though – 2litres of water and some a day will do that.
I have way more energy. Things are no longer a mission. I do stuff now.
I have more headspace. This is not always easy as things I have sent into the recesses of my mind so I can ignore them are coming to the surface. This is not always easy, but I know it is good. Dealing with this stuff and letting it go is actually what I need to lose. The weight is a blanket I have hidden under for years.
I like me. Every day I am proud of me for doing this. Every day I know I am worth this. And knowing I am worth it makes it all so easy.
My body is so grateful to me there is no way I could go back to treating it with the disrespect I used to.
I have never been able to joke about my size; it is my one area of real discomfort. I have watched other friends laugh about their own wobbly arms or flabby thighs, and have been envious with the ease with which they deal with these flaws. (Flaws – not sure that’s the word I would still use but I’ll leave it as that for now.)
I have a friend who does not have a big arse, but if she had a big anything, it would be her bum. She is tall and not a waif, but by no means is she chubby. He bum may be described as ample, but perhaps in her eyes it is huge. Whenever she walks backwards, she makes that neh neh neh sound like a truck reversing. It’s funny. She likes and loves herself enough for it to not be in anyway self disparaging. It’s just amusing and her way of making her bum okay.
I have been unable to do anything like that ever. I am way too sensitive of the fact that I am large; and probably see myself as way larger than others do.
On Saturday I made fun of myself; very gently and with no anger or sense of beating myself up. A photo was taken of me – from an angle lower than my face. I was chin upon chin upon chin. (Okay, maybe only a double chin but why ruin a story for actual facts?)
I looked at the pic on the camera screen and rather than be embarrassed and want to weep at how awful I looked, I said (with silent acknowledgement and an invisible nod of thanks to the friend I stole this line from) ‘Bloody hell – put that on Facebook and it will take me half an hour just to tag my chins.’
And it was okay. It’s a horrible photo and it may well be what I looked like at the moment from that angle. But it is not me; not all of what I am.
It was just a kak photo. I got over it.
Kim blogged about, her amazing weight loss journey. Read her blog here or watch this space for next week's instalment.
I sleep less, but so much better. This means I have gained maybe two hours a day; and the hours I have are more productive. I no longer wake up tired and flat. I am not quite the Sealy Posturepedic girl (remember her and her annoying morning smile, plastered with make up?) but I no longer groan when I wake up and despair about having to get up.
My skin looks better too. I haven’t noticed this but more than one of my friends has. They say I just glow, or something. My tummy is happy. I have IBS but have not had a bout for the last month. I pee way too much though – 2litres of water and some a day will do that.
I have way more energy. Things are no longer a mission. I do stuff now.
I have more headspace. This is not always easy as things I have sent into the recesses of my mind so I can ignore them are coming to the surface. This is not always easy, but I know it is good. Dealing with this stuff and letting it go is actually what I need to lose. The weight is a blanket I have hidden under for years.
I like me. Every day I am proud of me for doing this. Every day I know I am worth this. And knowing I am worth it makes it all so easy.
My body is so grateful to me there is no way I could go back to treating it with the disrespect I used to.
I have never been able to joke about my size; it is my one area of real discomfort. I have watched other friends laugh about their own wobbly arms or flabby thighs, and have been envious with the ease with which they deal with these flaws. (Flaws – not sure that’s the word I would still use but I’ll leave it as that for now.)
I have a friend who does not have a big arse, but if she had a big anything, it would be her bum. She is tall and not a waif, but by no means is she chubby. He bum may be described as ample, but perhaps in her eyes it is huge. Whenever she walks backwards, she makes that neh neh neh sound like a truck reversing. It’s funny. She likes and loves herself enough for it to not be in anyway self disparaging. It’s just amusing and her way of making her bum okay.
I have been unable to do anything like that ever. I am way too sensitive of the fact that I am large; and probably see myself as way larger than others do.
On Saturday I made fun of myself; very gently and with no anger or sense of beating myself up. A photo was taken of me – from an angle lower than my face. I was chin upon chin upon chin. (Okay, maybe only a double chin but why ruin a story for actual facts?)
I looked at the pic on the camera screen and rather than be embarrassed and want to weep at how awful I looked, I said (with silent acknowledgement and an invisible nod of thanks to the friend I stole this line from) ‘Bloody hell – put that on Facebook and it will take me half an hour just to tag my chins.’
And it was okay. It’s a horrible photo and it may well be what I looked like at the moment from that angle. But it is not me; not all of what I am.
It was just a kak photo. I got over it.
Kim blogged about, her amazing weight loss journey. Read her blog here or watch this space for next week's instalment.
