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A guide to understanding introverts

I consider myself an introvert. Well, more of an introverted extrovert, really.

I like people, I like being around them and, believe it or not, I love talking to them.

That said, while I do enjoy the company of others, I also have a social threshold that expires more quickly than that of a more outgoing person.

In other words, I can play at being an extrovert for a little while, but following an outing, or a party (or any other social event), I find that I need to retreat into my hide-y hole for a while before I can venture out into the world again.

Even at social events, my level of “extrovert” is different to those who are socially gregarious by nature. While I certainly do talk, I often prefer to listen to those around me. I like observing, absorbing and thinking about what people say before I respond to them.  Sometimes, I really just don’t feel the need to add to the conversation.

Of course, the people who notice this reticence are quick to ask me either one of the following questions: “why are you so quiet?” or “aren’t you having a good time?” or, and by far the worst, “what’s wrong?”

In most cases, nothing is wrong; however, the rest of the evening is usually spent trying to convince the uninhibited souls around me that I’m actually having a good time.

I know. I know. We’re a tricky and sometimes exasperating lot, but we’re not all that hard to understand.  
In fact, we’re pretty easy to be friends with. All you need to do is note the following:

1. Being an introvert does not mean that we’re shy. Sure, some of us are, and it may take some time for many of us to come out of our shell, but truthfully, there are a number of us who can actually pass as extroverts for a time. As previously mentioned, our social tolerance level just happens to be lower than yours.

2. Contrary to popular belief, we’re a lot friendlier than we appear to be.

3. We love people. Ok, we mostly love people. We just don’t feel the need to be around them all the time.

4.  If we don't feel like going out, nothing you say or do will convince us to change our minds (unless you’re offering a free weekend away to a remote retreat that promises rest, relaxation and tranquillity – in which case we’d happily suffer through a few hours of noise). 

5. On that note, you shouldn’t be offended if we don't want to go out - most of the time it's not you; we just want to be on our own or stay in. We like spending time on our own. It’s part of being an introvert. Alone time is sacred to us.

6. If you catch us spacing out, you may need to snap us out of it. We’re an introspective bunch by nature and often lose ourselves in our thoughts.  We do require a bit of help when it comes to bringing us back from the clouds we’ve been drifting on.

7.  And lastly, most of us that are friends with extroverts will, despite not wanting to go out, make an effort to do so any way. Just as long as we get some one on one time with you too.

Are you an introvert? What’s the most common misconception people have about you?


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