A friend of mine recently lost a substantial amount of weight. It’s been something she’s worked diligently at, committed to and followed through on. I applaud her for it.

What really makes me raise my eyebrow though, is how many people haven’t. They’ve done the complete opposite and attacked her for it or, worse… told her that she’ll regain all the weight again when she goes “off the diet”.

Honestly, what business is that of theirs?

Sure, that whole idea that negative commentary thrust at us often permeates our minds more deeply than positive commentary comes into play but, really?

Here’s a woman who raises children, works hard and is committed to doing the one thing that felt impossible to her for so long… how dare someone be anything but congratulatory towards her?

It’s not uncommon though… I have felt it from unexpected people too. When I snagged a work project I was so very keen on, the first person to say something to me, said: “Oh, is it because you sucked up?”

Um. No, but thanks for that – I was appointed in accordance with my experience and expertise, and I can prove it. Also, if this person had known me well, they’d know that I’m not exactly the suck-up type.

Why are we so hell-bent on bringing someone down when they do something positive for themselves? Is it so difficult for us to congratulate someone first? I would think not and, frankly, in comparison to the status of women a mere one hundred years ago; we have a lot of women to congratulate.
In fact, we have every woman to congratulate.

No matter the circumstances of your life, women should be congratulated for every single time they rise above an obstacle. Actually, scratch that – every human should. Yes, that means men too.

This morning, a dear friend called me to let me know that he’d secured the promotion he’s been working towards for the past while. I cannot help but be overwhelmingly happy for him. Why? Because I know how damn hard he worked for it.

Yet, somewhere, I know, someone will poo-poo his promotion, despite the fact that he’s worked damn hard for that. It’ll happen and that makes me bleak.

But, in my life experience, I’ve noticed that the level of negative commentary angled at people is most often (Note – I did not say all the time…), between women.

That is my experience, and as a result of it, I’ve found I’m more confident and comfortable in sharing a story of personal success with male friends, rather than some of my female friends.

Where is our sisterhood, seriously?

At some point, I hope, we’ll realise that throwing negative commentary at people who are working damn hard at something, or unfairly questioning someone’s success… are pointless pursuits.

All you do, when you do this, is remove your own ability to be happy for someone else.

Isn’t that what we all want anyway – to be happy? 

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