Have you ever been asked what superpower you would choose if you were given the choice? I don’t know why anyone would ask this to a girl, seeing as we already have so many superpowers. Seriously, we deserve our own comic books. In fact, I think our comic books should be called: Marvellous!

Here’s a list of powers you would encounter in Marvellous.

Period predictor

Guys, you may not know this about us, but girls can predict their periods. Because your period is a sneaky bitch, it’s nearly impossible to tell when exactly it will start. Yes, you can count the days, but that’s more of an estimation – never a given.

Yet, we know. One morning we’ll wake up and just know that today’s the day.

Shame, it’s such a pity that you don’t possess that same gift. Maybe then you won’t make the mistake of asking us if we have PMS everytime we have a bad day.

Task juggling

Girls can juggle multiple tasks at the same time, and still look cute. We can apply mascara in the car, make a grocery list while listening to our best friend and pretend to be paying attention in a meeting while we’re actually planning our outfit for the weekend.

We can even focus on pushing our chests out while sucking our stomachs in. It’s a gift.

Bargain hunting

We are natural hunters. We can spot a sale miles away. We won’t let anyone stand in the way of us and a discounted handbag. We know what Darwin meant with Survival of The Fittest: boob punch, or be boob punched.

Ultra comfort

No matter how kak your day is, a few soft words and a hug from us will cure your bleakness immediately. We might not always know what to say, but even our mere presence will calm you.

And if that doesn’t work we’ll bring comfort food and help you to eat your feelings.

Super sight

Our sight isn’t so lekker when we’re naked in front of a mirror. What’s that? Cellulite? I can’t see…

But I can spot a hot face and a naked ring finger a kilometre away. And later in life I’ll be able to see through walls when my kids are up to no good.

Death stare

Unlike boys, we don’t fight with our fists. We fight with our eyes. Piss us off and we’ll give you a vuilkyk which will chill you to the bone.

And you’d better watch your back when we unite

Girls fight, they bitch, they skinder. But when a guy treats one of us like shit, we’ll stand together and make him wish that he was never born.

This post first appeared on the Glitz and Grammar blog.

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