What does make the world go round, you cynical bitch?
I have particularly distinct childhood memories of wanting to be Cinderella when I grew up.
We all know the notions of princesses and damsels in distress are so out of touch with reality but, somehow, that idea never really leaves a lot of us.
It makes a resurgence around about the time when it seems all our mates are falling in love, getting married or popping out little squealing bundles of baby.
And for those of us who never get married or pop a kid out or (Hell, I hate this term) 'settle down' – what of us?
Trashtalking the Princess
The idea that some very human, and not princely, dude is going to sweep us off our feet and we’ll live happily ever after in some marital bliss bubble is, frankly, bullshit.
There is no marital bliss bubble and I guess that was hard for the Brothers Grimm to convey in a cute little storyline.
I mean, do we ever hear about Cinderella scrubbing babypooh off the wall at 2am or waiting up for the Prince when he’s out on yet another bender with the boys? Nope.
The Reality of Pooh
But that pooh-scraping and waiting up for your significant other are realities. They’re not particularly grand or enticing realities but they are ones many of us have found ourselves in before.
Heck, even the good and most meaningful times of a long-term relationship or marriage are often found in the most mundane of life tasks.
Like that time my partner (gees I hate that word too) made a marathon, three-hour effort to cook me a special dinner or the time we ended up in fits of giggles as we tried to wrangle our household budget together.
The fairytale is a farce fed to us as story to propel us towards romance that will, hopefully lead to babies which means the human race gets to survive beyond my generation.
Please understand this - the idea that the fairytale is meaningful or in any way reflective of reality is complete trash. It is an enticement technique that exists, at its base, to secure the survival of the human race.
It is not founded in love, nor does it serve any other purpose than purely biological. And I can promise you love does not make the world go round. Nor do princes in tighty whities.
But then what does make the world go round, you cynical bitch?
Ah, but that’s where the wonder lies. Far beyond the excitement of a first date, or a grand, flashmob proposal setup, there lies a (possible) lifetime of having to share your very best – and very worst – life moments with someone else.
The thing that makes the world go round is not the bendy-legged oke in tights on a horse, so to speak. But it is the dude who runs to the 24-hour shop to get you tampons in an emergency.
It is SO the guy who holds back your hair while you vomit up a dodgy dinner and it is absolutely the time where they hold your hand while you confront the reality that is your terminally ill mother in a hospital bed.
So please, stop thinking that your couple selfies are the best moments of your life together.
Those are not the special moments or the love that make the world go round – they’re just the advertisements between the normal programming of a life filled with reality.
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