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A book by self-styled relationship expert, public speaker, lay preacher and perfume peddler Gretha Wiid is causing huge uproar at the moment.
The book is a type of "What girls want to know" and was published in 2009 by Carpe Diem Media. In the book Wiid, who has been criticised by many - including myself - for preaching her particular brand of Christian morality (and earning a pretty penny for it, I might add), talks to young children about puberty, sexuality and how girls should make sense of their changing bodies, among other things.
The excerpt that is doing the rounds on social media at the moment contains Wiid’s views on homosexuality and her “explanation” of it.
Some of her assertions include:*
“Some say those people are born gay. That is something I don’t agree with. I believe with my whole heart that God created men and women to love the opposite sex.”
“If a boy doesn’t get love from his father, gets humiliated regularly, or gets beaten all day or treated without tenderness then some of them develop feelings of hate and pain towards men.”
“Thus they don’t want to be like men who show their strength with muscles and power. [Instead they retreat] and many of these loners end up believing they are gay because they are different.”
“I believe with my whole heart that these boys would make wonderful husbands for their wives one day…”
“Other boys get teased by silly kids because they play the piano or chess or they don’t like rugby. From early on children call these boys faggots – another name for a gay man.”
“It can also happen (and happens quite regularly) that children who have been sexually abused become attracted to the same sex as the abuser.”
She has come under fire for these statements from the LGBT community and many heterosexual people. As Mamba Online says: “[She claims] that homosexuality is a developmental aberration caused by an unloving father, which can be cured if caught in time.”
Her proclamations that homosexuality is caused by sexual abuse, teasing, child abuse etc. aren’t based on any research or evidence in medical science, psychology or sexology and are insulting and dangerously inflammatory.
Facebook user Gielie Hoffman says “only two things can basically happen when a teenager reads these messages of hers: Either you will begin to feel self-loathing because you feel you can’t be yourself, or you will begin to judge people for not living the way you’re living”.
Peter** says “How dare she say I didn’t love my son!? I didn’t turn my son gay, my son was born gay and I love him not one iota less for it.”
Many have called for complaints to be laid at the South African Human Rights Commission as they believe her message is unconstitutional.
And if not unconstitutional, then definitely harmful, archaic, and not something we should teach children.
As Channel24’s editor, Herman Eloff, says: “I have but a single thought: I didn't "become gay" because I was bullied. I was bullied because I'm gay. And that's the issue we should be addressing. Intolerance.”
W24 has contacted Wiid, along with her publisher, Carpe Diem Media, for comment, but neither has responded.
*I have translated it from Afrikaans to English for the purpose of this article.
**Not his real name.
