A few days ago, news broke that a man is suing his date for texting during Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (trailer below). Almost instantly he was hailed a hero with even the director of the movie jokingly saying suing isn’t enough, she actually deserves jail time.

And I get it. Texting in a movie is annoying and often selfish behaviour, and is something that would bother almost anyone.

The idea of suing someone for this is an amusing one, so long as - you know - it’s a hyperbolic joke rather than something serious. 

But Brandon Vezmar, whose Twitter feed is a parade of gloating and enjoyment as he adores all this attention, seems dead serious. He’s filed a petition at small claims court for $17.31 (R229.88) exactly, the price of the 3D movie ticket.

His story: They were at a movie, and she started using her phone. He asked her not to, and then asked her to leave the theatre. She did, and didn’t return. After the movie was over, he went outside to find she had left.

Brandon has called what was a first date “the date from hell”, and I’m inclined to agree, but my sympathy isn’t with him, it’s with the poor woman who was unfortunate enough to find herself on a date with him in the first place.

Just look at this screenshot of the conversation he had with her after deciding to sue:

That’s right. That’s a grown man, 37 years old, threatening to sue his date if she doesn’t pay him back the $17 he spent on a movie ticket and the $4 (R54) he spent on a slice of pizza.

The same grown man is also shocked that the woman he’s now suing because the date didn’t go his way, says he made her feel unsafe. 

Let’s take a moment to look at this from her perspective. 

She goes on a date with a guy. During the movie, her best friend texts her, needing her right away. Being a good friend, she responds, only to have her date act so intensely upset about this that he actually makes her feel uncomfortable enough to decide the best thing to do is to comply to his wishes and leave. 

Later, the same guy tries to sue her, dragging her not only into court but into an international meme of a news story, all to punish her for not acting the way he wanted her to. 

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He also uses Facebook to send demanding messages to anyone who looks like they are related to her, finally using Spokeo to track down her home address. She’s even had to file a protective order against him after he contacted her little sister

In other words, he’s proved that her instincts were right: he is a petty and entitled man with serious anger issues and that for her the best thing was to get as far away from him as possible.

So no. Unless “hero” has come to mean “creepy stalker dude with severe anger issues going to the limits to punish a woman because a date with her didn’t go his way”, then the guy suing his date for texting in a movie, being a good friend to her bestie and leaving once her instincts warned her that she was on a date with a truly awful man, is absolutely no “hero”.

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