I’m mentally ill. I have what’s known as Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Panic, fear and nervousness are a big part of my life. I don’t always experience huge bouts of it, but my everyday life is often severely affected by it.
Some nights I struggle to fall asleep because my brain won’t switch off. I lie awake remembering something I said to a colleague, which was meant as a joke, but probably offended them and now they hate me. When this happens my heart pounds in my chest, my stomach knots itself, my head is abuzz with a million voices that drown out my own, and my entire body is coated in sweat.
Sometimes, when I do eventually get to sleep, I have very vivid nightmares. So vivid, that when I wake in the morning, it feels as if I haven’t slept at all especially if I dreamt of one of the more traumatic events in my life.