Although we may have the best intentions in the world to spring-clean our lives, implementing change can often take more self-discipline than we have. What you need is a plan. Take a few minutes to make a 'shopping list' for the four different areas of your life: self-confidence, relationships, health and spirituality. Write down everything you would like to change or improve in each area.
Once you have your 'shopping list', sift out those things you are not passionate about. Next, categorise your list into short-, medium- and long-term goals. Once you have done this you can isolate the goals that you need to act on immediately and those you will work towards. Try to limit your goals to three in each area.
Follow these easy tips to improve some
key areas in your life and you are bound
to sparkle this spring:
Do away with self doubt
A lack of confidence can prevent you from enjoying your life.
A good starting point to boost your confidence is to stop criticising yourself. Motivational speaker Nick Williams
says that by the time we are 18 years
old, we will have been praised, supported and encouraged about
25 000 times. But we will have been criticised, chastised and ridiculed around 225 000 times. So it's no wonder we often grow up with low self-esteem.
The last thing you need is to add to
this barrage of criticism by being hard
on yourself.
When you find yourself making negative statements about yourself, stop and think of the things you are good at.
For times when you need a quick confidence boost, try this exercise: find three things that make you feel good, such as memories of good times, a piece of music, or a person's face. Practise thinking about them whenever you're low on confidence.
Self-consciousness is the biggest
enemy of self-confidence. Learn how
to stop focusing on yourself. If you
feel self-conscious in a social situation, take your mind off it by counting
how many people in the room are wearing red, for example, or by concentrating on making others
feel more comfortable.
Air out your body
Having a healthy body doesn't necessarily mean eating raw veggies and running a half marathon. There are simple ways to improve your overall health.
Incorporate exercise into your everyday life. Make shopping an opportunity to exercise those muscles. A brisk walk in the shopping mall while carrying heavy shopping bags is excellent aerobic exercise. If possible, walk to the shops rather than drive. Make a point of exercising your tummy muscles while you're in front of your computer or TV. Breathe in slowly, then clench your abdominal muscles while breathing out slowly. Do five sets of three repetitions.
A good posture lengthens your physique and can help you appear slimmer and more confident. It also prevents breathing problems and knee, back and neck pain. Try this technique: imagine there is a rope attached to your head that is pulling upwards. This will correct your posture without you having to force your shoulders back or pull your back straight. Wear flat, comfy shoes and carry your handbag across your body instead of on one shoulder. Lying flat on the floor, with your head on a book for 10 minutes a day, will also help straighten your spine and relax your back muscles.
Spring is the time to make appointments for yourself and your family for those medical check-ups
you may not have got around to earlier
in the year.
Recycle your relationships
Having fulfilling relationships with others is vital to your sense of happiness.
Before you can work on your relationship with others, you need to have a good relationship with yourself, says clinical psychologist Nadia Salerno. Part of this process involves setting boundaries. If you know yourself well, you'll know what you are prepared to tolerate from others. Learn to say no (without feeling guilty). When you know who you are and trust yourself to not let others take advantage of you, you will automatically relax and be able to share yourself with others.
Assess the people in your life honestly and decide whether each relationship is worth the time and energy you are investing. Do you feel good about yourself around that person, or do you feel drained or anxious in their company? Develop relationships with people who are on your side and who are honest with you, but not in a judgmental or critical way.
Make room in your relationships for differences and value these differences.
When it comes to romantic relationships,
it's important to know why you are with your partner. Cape Town-based couple counsellor Glenn de Swardt says, 'Differentiate between wanting a specific relationship and needing a specific relationship. If you want a relationship, you'll be able to be rational about committing to someone, whereas a position of need
(to feel complete, or to combat fears of "aloneness") can lead to dependence, manipulation and complex power dynamics that will play out in your relationships.'
Let in the light
Many people feel that they'd like to be more spiritual, but real life keeps getting in the way. Becoming more spiritual doesn't mean that you have to subscribe to any particular religion. Instead, it means that you want your life
to have a higher purpose and deeper meaning.
Volunteer. Focus on helping others rather than on yourself – it will make your life more meaningful.
Surround yourself with inspirational things. Avoid draining situations. Whether it be gardening, reading or surrounding yourself with inspirational people, make a point of nurturing your soul.
Pray. Take a few minutes each day to pray or meditate. Remind yourself of the beauty of life. Regardless of your religious beliefs, prayer grounds you and puts you in touch with those things that matter.
Spend a little time each day alone in silence, doing nothing.
Recognise that there is a lesson
to be learned or an opportunity for growth in every experience.
Take responsibility for your life. Don't blame other people or circumstances for where you
find yourself in life.
Consciously pay attention to your thoughts. Eliminate those thoughts that are self-limiting or negative
and replace them with positive, affirming thoughts.
Publications
Partners
