Publications
Partners
1) Concentration problems
So it's not like you can bend spoons with your mind on a regular day, but lately your brain is just a sieve. The slightest interruption and you forget what you were busy with. You've just deleted your entire inbox and you keep on calling the girl in Accounts Kath instead of Carol?
I feel your pain, really I do.
Early Alzheimer's? Adult onset ADHD? Is it time for the cocaine pills? Relax, you probably just need a holiday.
2) Binge drinking bonanzas
You’ve woken up with a killer hangover and it's only Tuesday. "What the hell?" you think through your booze soaked brain.
And then it all comes back to you in a wave of cringe-making embarrassment. Yes you had Jagerbombs with your biggest client. And yes, you and your boss did sing a heartfelt duet of God Lifts Us Up Where We Belong in a dodgy karaoke bar. And you did really flash that cute IT guy.
Aaaaargh!
Wait for the embarrassment and the headache to fade (I promise it will) and remember it's called Silly Season for a reason.
3) Partner blues
The only time you're not bickering with your partner is when you're full-on fighting. And it's not because you're being oversensitive dammit. It's because he's being a total arsehole.
Don’t do anything silly. Like getting divorced. You'll be amazed what a week in the sun can do for his (and your) disposition.
4) You have been weighed and found wanting
With the year drawing to a close you realize that you have achieved absolutely nothing. Another year has gone by and you're no closer to enlightenment, you haven't written your bestselling novel, started your own business or found your life partner.
Take a step back. And don't be so hard on yourself. Unless you spent the year dozing on a mattress in some crack den there's really no such thing as a wasted year.
5) You cannot believe how fat you've got (if only number 4 could apply here!)
You've suddenly realized that you are a whale. And it's only weeks before your beach holiday!! How are you supposed to lose weight during the festive season? It's one party after the next with drinks and food and Christmas coming out of your ears. Definitely not conducive to your bikini-body.
Sorry, but it’s too late to panic now.
So suck it up (and in), push out your boobs, flip your hair and smile.
Most importantly, remember that you're not alone. All over the world people are suffering from this disease. But the holidays are around the corner, so hang in there. Ah, shit. Just deleted my inbox again.
What are your Novemberitis symptoms? Share them in the box below...
Follow me on Twitter @liliradloff
