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With the end of the year signalling the holidays, it's inevitable to visit loved ones. However, it is not always sunshine and rainbows, more so when it comes to the do's and don'ts when spending time with family or friends during the festive season.
This is according to Nina Evason, a specialist in culture, diversity, and inclusion. The reason, Evason explains, is that South Africans have different etiquettes based on race, linguistic groups and religion.
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Although most house visits are planned, Evason adds that unexpected social calls from close friends or relatives are often common. It is expected that upon arrival, guests will greet each other with courtesy and promptness.
She says:
Evason cautions that guests should respect their hosts' privacy by not exploring their homes unless encouraged to do so, that they should wait to be escorted into a new area by someone senior, and that they should avoid becoming unduly attached to any of the objects in a hosts' home.
She adds that guests should be aware that continuously admiring an item in a home may make hosts feel obliged to present it to them as a gift.
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According to Evason, guests should know that if they are staying overnight at the hosts' house, they should try to keep their personal space tidy and offer to help with chores or cooking. The culture specialist adds that guests must be aware that even if they are told to stay as long as they like, guests should avoid overstaying their welcome.
Here are some tips by Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life:
- Offer to help around, and if accepted, clean up the dishes, set the table, or do whatever it is that they need you to do. Offer to take the trash out to the curb or put the dishes in the dishwasher.
- Make sure the bed is made, and take the towels off the floor.
- Offer to pitch in for groceries; bring the items you can’t live without, but pack carefully.
Don'ts
- Don't show up empty-handed; don’t exceed your budget and remember that a gift is not a competition.
- Don't expect anything. Unless they offer, don’t expect them to pick you up or give you a car. Take your own car or make use of Uber.
- Don't talk about sex, religion, or politics, but if it comes up in some form, try to keep the conversation pleasant.
