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- Dating can be confusing because some people harbour dark intentions when entering new relationships.
- These behaviours have inspired new terms like gophering and ghostlighting.
- A new term called "spider webbing" is being added to the dating lexicon.
- For more lifestyle news, go to the News24 Life front page.
Dating can be confusing as two people from different backgrounds with different mindsets try to find common ground based on their attraction to each other.
Sadly, some people harbour dark intentions when entering new relationships, leaving their romantic partner confused about being ill-treated by someone who claims to like or love them.
These behaviours have inspired new terms like 'gophering' and 'ghostlighting', and a new term called "spider webbing" is being added to the dating lexicon.
According to the UK's Independent definition, spider webbing refers to an accumulation of toxic behaviours that have, like a web, become intricately woven together to the point where you can no longer see through them.
Speaking to Metro UK, luxury dating site Seeking's relationship expert Emma Hathorn described the phenomenon as "a web of deceit and manipulation that can trap victims in an unstable and toxic relationship".
How to tell if you are being spider-webbed
Therapy baiting: Lying about being in therapy.
Gaslighting: Also called coercive control, this term historically referred to extreme psychological manipulation to commit an individual to a psychiatric institution or cause mental illness with the intent to brainwash. Online use of the term has expanded this definition to refer to a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or unable to trust themselves.
Love bombing: Excessive attention, admiration, and affection to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to the love bomber.
Breadcrumbing: Periodic messages someone will send another person, leading the recipient to believe a relationship might form when it most likely will not.
According to an article by ETX Daily, the person who employs this tactic likes to feel in a position of strength, total power and control in a romantic relationship, even if it means lying and deceiving others.
Safeguarding yourself against manipulation in a romantic context
Vigilance is vital to safeguarding yourself against spider webbing.
Speaking to HuffPost, Dr Sarah Bishop, a clinical psychologist from Birmingham, UK, highlights a desire to establish excessive closeness too quickly, being overly familiar, or expecting too much too soon as things to look out for.
She also advises speaking to your partner about any doubts or concerns you may have and deciding a way forward based on the conversation.
Sources: Independent, Metro UK, HuffPost, ETX Daily.
