Publications
Partners
- If we took the time to write down all the rules of starting a new relationship, it would take the entire decade - and we still wouldn't have it figured out.
- That's because when a relationship is new, there are a lot of awkward, tense moments where you’re not sure of your place in your partner’s life yet.
- It's also at this time that most couples try to spend time with each other, including having sleepovers now and then.
- And sleepovers mean having a bag to carry your underwear, toiletries and a change of clothes for the next day. However, living in a bag can be tiring.
- So the question remains: How soon can you start leaving your things at his place - especially underwear since it's the source of many relationship arguments and trust issues?
Giving your partner a drawer at your place is a big deal, and women have had to either be the one to offer it or get the space offered to them. Sydney Lyons wrote on Elite Daily that the last time she gave her significant other a drawer, it turned into an entire chest of drawers, which turned into half of her closet.
“The contents of the drawer seemed to expand well beyond its originally established parameters until it was almost impossible to discern where my share of the apartment ended and my partner’s began,” she says.
READ MORE | Cape Town woman separated from American boyfriend by lockdown after epic 10-day first date
According to Registered counsellor, Phumzile Ndlovu, there is no specific time-frame to bring up this conversation. When you feel you are both ready you can have this conversation.
Although this may be a nice gesture, the main reason why this is such an uncomfortable conversation to have is that it comes with a lot of questions which might raise fears in the relationship, like how serious things are getting between the two of you.
"Having this conversation could bring about a fear of invasion of space. People are sensitive about having their space and they could feel a sense of threat of losing their personal space. There is also a fear of having boundaries crossed," says Phumzile.
The most effective way to handle these fears is by communicating your fears and concerns to your partner as they will never know and understand your fears unless you communicate them.
READ MORE | Polyamorous relationships under severe strain during the pandemic
Phumzile says if you don’t like carrying an an overnight bag you should communicate with your partner and let them know so you are on the same page. But what do other women have to say?
Below, several women share how they handled this situation:
READ MORE | A global pandemic wasn’t enough to keep these 4 relationships down. Here’s how they did it
READ MORE | 'I don't post my boyfriend on social media, and it's affecting our relationship'
Follow us on social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
Sign up to W24's Newsletters so you don't miss out on any of our stories and giveaways.
