Attention all men: Your silence is part of the GBV scourge, but your voice can turn things around

• Gender-based violence (GBV) is a major problem that South Africans have been grappling with for decades.
• Most of the time, men are seen as perpetrators and are rarely involved in campaigns and conversations about the scourge.
• Now, organisations locally and abroad have started to encourage men to be active participants and help stop GBV.
• Among these, the TEARS Foundation believes it starts with conversations online by calling all men and boys to break the cycle of generational beliefs regarding GBV.

Where do men fit in, in the fight against GBV? The non-profit TEARS Foundation believes that it starts with having important conversations online by calling all men and boys to speak up and break the cycle of generational beliefs regarding GBV. 

The foundation believes that though men are statistically most often the perpetrators of GBV, not all men perpetrate. Men and boys who are not perpetrators don't have to be part of the problem; they can step up and become defenders of women when it comes to GBV - in the workplace, at home, at school and in their social circles.

As such, the foundation has launched the Speak Up initiative, which is about breaking the cycle of the behavioural patterns of perpetrators. 

READ MORE | Time to roll up our collective sleeves to fight GBVF in the workplace

"For real change to happen, we need to break the cycle of generational beliefs regarding GBV and encourage men to speak up when they witness it. They need to speak up around their friends and ask for the help they need if they are the perpetrators. We are giving them the tools to step up, speak up and break the cycle," says Mara Glennie, founder and CEO of TEARS Foundation.

"We encourage men to challenge traditional norms influencing notions of manhood and toxic masculinity, to challenge cultural norms, address GBV matters with friends and family and to find the courage to reach out for help."  

READ MORE | Exploring perceptions of the drivers of GBV through performance

The foundation encourages women to challenge their male friends, husbands, brothers, and fathers to be part of the GBV solution. This thought pattern is shared by many other organisations.

Wikigender and Womanity recently hosted an online discussion on the theme 'We need your support: Engaging men and boys to end gender-based violence'. Wikigender found that over the last decade, programmes working with men on perceptions of masculinities have produced positive results and gained a lot of interest.

For instance, the organisation hails CARE International's 'Young Men Initiative', which seeks to engage boys and men as allies in violence prevention, and the UN Women HeForShe campaign as having had very positive results in several countries.

READ MORE | Can I sue the SAPS for negligence as a sexual violence survivor? Experts weigh in

Glennie believes the onus is on men to participate in conversations around GBV. "Not only can they do something, but they must do something. They must speak up and make it clear that sexist jokes, inappropriate comments and aggression won't be tolerated," says Glennie.

"They must refuse to overlook any form of violence and even notions of ownership of women and children. They must correct wrongdoings, report all violent acts, and set an example to fellow men as well as young boys." 

If you're being abused and want to connect with a counsellor, you can contact the following organisations:

• Contact the #GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 for counselling services 24/7.