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- What's it like to fulfil a bedroom fantasy? These readers reveal if it was worth it or not.
- "The next day, I felt pretty dirty, but after a while, I actually felt really good about it. Thinking about it made me feel confident and sexy," says Adele.
- "It's always fun to spice things up, though," Jamie says.
- For more lifestyle news, go to the News24 Life front page.
What's it like to fulfil a bedroom fantasy? These readers reveal if it was worth it or not.
'I wanted to dominate him' - Jamie, 26
"At the start of uni semester, we all got a lab partner in biology class. I was paired with the hottest guy, and from day one, we were constantly flirting. It didn't bother me that I was five years older than him. After a few weeks, I invited him over for a pre-exam study session. I didn't mean for anything to happen... it just did! Being with a younger guy gave me crazy sexual confidence.
"I wanted to dominate him and feel completely in charge. One day after class, at my place, I took his clothes off, tied him to a chair and blindfolded him. I rubbed myself all over him before going down on him.
"All of a sudden, I noticed he'd gone soft. I looked up and he was flustered and red in the face. I asked if he was all right and he said he had pins and needles in his hands... and that's when I realised he was having a panic attack! He was so embarrassed."
"It was such an anti-climax. The lead-up was fun, but I think the pressure got to him. I do like the idea of tying someone up, but if I tried it again, I'd probably make it less intense. It's always fun to spice things up, though!"
READ MORE | Is there moaning etiquette during sex? Here's what intimacy expert says about 'pleasure' sounds
"I wanted a threesome" - Heather, 30
"I've always had an adventurous personality. As a single girl, I started to fantasise about being in a threesome. The naughty, hedonistic nature of it excited me. It was something I definitely wanted to try. One night, I was out with a couple I know well and they invited me back to their place. We had a few drinks and soon she started kissing me, then. he kissed me.
"Once it all got started, they never left me out. They both fooled around with me while they were having sex, and were definitely into me being there. But his body language made it pretty clear that he wasn't going to have sex with me, even though
"I wanted him to. I get it and respect it, but I guess it did make me feel like I was their toy. It was totally hot, but I prefer the intimacy of a one-on-one. Being an additional person can leave you feeling just like an addition."
READ MORE | 7 ways to get better sex in 2023
'I started fantasising about a hot one-night stand' - Adele, 27
"Last year, I realised that I'd only ever had sex with boyfriends. I started fantasising about hot one-night stand scenarios, but I was always too scared to go through with it in case I ran into the guy again.
"Then, some girlfriends and I travelled to Mexico. One night, we went out and met a group of American guys. I flirted with one in particular, and after a lot of drinks,
"I realised it was now or never. I grabbed him and, without even speaking, we went back to his hotel. We had sex all night. I was really uninhibited because I didn't know him and was so turned on by how hot he was.
"The next day, I felt pretty dirty, but after a while, I actually felt really good about it. Thinking about it made me feel confident and sexy. Back home, I started dating a new guy soon after and I felt like a sex goddess - he was amazed when we first slept together! For me, the one-nighter was a once-only thing, but I'm glad I did it."
'I wanted to break the rules' - Alex, 25
"My boyfriend and I were in the navy and we'd been together for a month when we were both deployed to Hawaii. He was at a different base to me so I only saw him on weekends. I started to fantasise about making a mid-week booty call. It turned me on because it was totally breaking the rules - if we were caught, we would've been in serious trouble.
"One night, I couldn't stand it anymore. So, while everyone on my base was working late, I told them I was going on a coffee run to Starbucks. I borrowed one of the base vans and drove the 20 minutes to where my boyfriend was stationed.
"We had the most amazing sex in the back of the van. It was hot, fast and furious. Afterwards, I grabbed some coffee on the way back to support my story. I was so worried someone would need to use the van, because it reeked of sex! We now love reminiscing about our Hawaiian tryst."
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'The naughty, hedonistic nature of a threesome excited me'
Sex therapist Lucy Patarcic (lucidmind. com.au) reveals how to turn your fantasy into reality.
Be at ease. It's totally normal to have sexual fantasies and to want to act them out. The more comfortable you get with it, the more likely you'll enjoy it. Lower the bar to avoid disappointment. "There's no way to predict the future about realising a fantasy. It's best to prepare yourself for a positive or a negative outcome."
Talk it through. "If the fantasy involves another person, then it's important to gently ask them about the desire. If they want to try it, then figure out a 'safe word' just in case you want to stop, as 'stop' is sometimes a part of the fantasy. A word like 'taxes' is definitely unsexy and would do the trick."
If at first you don't succeed... give it another crack. There's no harm in trying a sex fantasy out again if it doesn't work the first time. However, if the outcome is particularly bad, seek expert advice. "If things go wrong and cause you distress that doesn't shift within a few days, then a sex therapist should be able to help."
CREDIT: ARE MEDIA/MAGAZINE FEATURES.CO.ZA
