Sex Position: Humping hippo heaven

And everybody knows if you're a little plump you look much better draped on a bed, or a table or a couch or a meadow – take your pick – than you would vertically. (The Renaissance Masters knew this four hundred years ago.)So get down and dirty with these tips for plus size gals and guys.

When you're big and he's not

Lie on your side with one or both knees drawn up to your chest. He kneels in front of you (on a cushion if necessary) and penetrates. Both of you can thrust and rock.

When he's big and you're not

Get him to lie flat on his back with his legs straight. His belly should spread out evenly. Straddle, mount and ride him like a bull.

When both of you are fat

1) Man on top: Lie down on your back with a few cushions under your bum. This should angle your vagina for easy access. He kneels in front of you and enters. He can rest back on his haunches if he's too heavy to lie on top of you or use his weight to press against your clitoral area.

2) Woman on top: Sit on top of your man instead of kneeling (corpulent sex can be hard on the knees.)

3) Couch potato: Use a sturdy couch, bench, ottoman or chaise longue to help support weight. This is great for women on top positions.

4) Doggy style: Go down on all fours, lift your butt in the air and arch your back to give him access. Lie down if this is too hard on those knees.

Tips: